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#492792 - 12/20/15 05:53 AM Re: DAD/SON Incest Sexual Fetish [Re: valence]
une.vie.d.espoir Offline


Registered: 12/06/10
Posts: 177
Loc: Quebec-Canada
it is painful for me to read this, but i know it is by feeling this hurt i will free myself. Thank you for being in my life Valence.

Jp


Edited by une.vie.d.espoir (12/20/15 05:53 AM)

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#493421 - 01/03/16 11:15 AM Re: DAD/SON Incest Sexual Fetish [Re: PSGuy760]
BFree27 Offline


Registered: 12/28/15
Posts: 164
In response to you, nicedesertguy, I do believe there's a way for this to happen. In my own experience, I used to hunt older men down after my abuse with my step dad, and it honestly made me feel like I had much more power in my life. Maybe I was tricking myself, but every time I "found" myself in these situations (I had not started recalling memories of my abuse yet and didn't know why I was looking for men in that age group), I somehow knew that I needed to be in more control in these situations and it honestly really helped me cope with having to move back into my parents' house for a little while. It almost felt like I needed to be the aggressor in the relationship and as long as that was the case, the older men tended to submit in a way.. and I think that they were really positive experiences because of it.

I hope that makes sense.
_________________________
I will appreciate the future of a day where the clouds open up and scream..

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#497924 - 04/25/16 04:50 PM Re: DAD/SON Incest Sexual Fetish [Re: PSGuy760]
redrock Offline


Registered: 03/05/16
Posts: 53
I dont dare put mine out here. I am sure there are others who wont say a word but I encourage you.
_________________________
may the best guide you. aka DJsport and avery46

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#497947 - 04/26/16 10:15 AM Re: DAD/SON Incest Sexual Fetish [Re: PSGuy760]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 235
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
While the particular circumstances (Dad/Son Incest Sexual Fetish) don't apply in my situation, the mechanisms at play are similar:
1) A longing to recreate a fantasy situation, which I couldn't explain. "It didn't make sense" in my life.
2) Recall of the childhood sexual abuse-57 years after it occurred.
3) Discovery that the fantasy recreation was a way to go back to the incident of sexual abuse, but this time having the power, and rewriting a script in which I had control.
4) Discovery-through therapy-that our "reptile brain" is changed at the moment of trauma and never forgets the experience, so it reacts to stressors as if they were a trauma experience.
_________________________
Jay

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#498910 - 05/31/16 09:10 AM Re: DAD/SON Incest Sexual Fetish [Re: PSGuy760]
ZellCT Offline


Registered: 05/02/16
Posts: 3
Loc: Connecticut
This is something that is a tough subject to talk about or admit to yourself. It would be nice to rewind and not have what happened to us, happen to us. I've felt ways for a long time that I did not understand ( still not sure I do)
and feel confused and guilty for it.
Good to know, in a way, that I'm not alone. But if I could rewind why we think this, I would. In a heart beat.
_________________________
I am new to the site.
I've tried and failed to feel like I belong at other sites consisting of other sorts of people.
Hoping to understand me a bit more and maybe..idk grow? Something

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#502602 - 10/12/16 02:18 AM Re: DAD/SON Incest Sexual Fetish [Re: PSGuy760]
CPeterson Offline
New Here

Registered: 12/08/07
Posts: 15
Loc: ND
I find myself attracted to older guys, hairy chests, facial hair, tattoo's. As I recall in may times these were the type of men who had sexually abused me when I was young. I'm confused by these feelings cause I find men more attractive than women. Women - I'm just NOT attractive to.

I have couple of times have fell weak in sleeping with other men who were older than me. They at times were only a few years olders, even by 5 years older and up.

When with them - I had felt safe and comforted by their presence, fell asleep next to them, snuggling and head on their chest and fell asleep. When had sexual relations, it didn't bother me as much, but the regret afterwards it did. I struggle with the concept of question if I'm gay or not. I'm still struggling with sexual identity in so many ways.

I feel so fucked up (sorry) from the abuse.

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#506400 - 02/11/17 04:27 PM Re: DAD/SON Incest Sexual Fetish [Re: PSGuy760]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 906
Loc: washington
I try really hard not to give advice, rather I share my experience and leave it up to the reader to glean what is relevant to them.

That being said I glean two things from the original post. the more unique the fetish, the harder it is to fulfill. Balloon fetish as a random example. I have bad ears no 'poping' balloons I am out. If you find a group within your area, more power to you. but understand the more unique criteria used the harder it will be to find. This post also deals with growing older. Sorry, I got wrinkles myself that I don't like, but there is nothing I can do about it. the best solution outside of expanding criteria might be to accept reality and accept this as a personal masturbation fantasy. (as good as it gets).

This might be too much information, but I have already outed myself that I was born with herniated testicles and lost one to eliminate the high risk of cancer. I was also controlled emotionally and physical by my uncle through tease and orgasm denial techniques. This
coupled with the fact my father was an emotionally absent father (rager) while growing up.

There are many reasons one might seek a daddy/ boy(boi) relationship, not all of them sexual. "Father Hunger" comes to mind. Lets face it fathers have been on the planet for longer than there boys(bois). I would hope with the extra time they would have figured a few things out. Daddy's often make excellent mentors. Especially perhaps for confused boys(bois) who are confused by their trauma(PTSD). I'm not advocating anything, simple try to explain this relationship. In a healthy relationship, Daddy's often have more earning potential (as they have simply been around longer, have the ability to support the relationship financially).

I don't pretend to know it all. 're-creating' the abuse, (in order to make peace with it). I get it. Perhaps it fits you? if so, that is great. You have found a truth about yourself. Is this a be all and end all for me? I would say no. This assumes that I am permanently broken (I am not going to argue that point). This also assumes that there is nothing I can do about it. (in the present day).

I would like to think about this another way. I used to be a smoker and smoking worked great as a coping mechanism to stuff emotions, but alas it has other life changing consequences, in the severest conditions can end your life. I quit smoking and yet there is a part of me that still want's to smoke. This doesn't bother me as the part of me that wants to quit is stronger than the part that wants to start again.

Back in the day if you had a piece of tape you could re-record or record over any cassette tape you desired. Do you see where I am going with this? For me not living in the shame is getting beyond it.

Is this easy? hell f-ing no. What would you suggest I do? give up? I understand there are brothers out there that are so broken, they are frigid. that is tragic. I do them no justice by falling on that sword.

There are instances in my life where I was taken advantage of after trying so desperately tried to learn to trust again (it's a cold cold word).

I am going to continue to advocate for myself. I am going to continue to be proactive. Even in a relationship, I am still an army of one,as such, I am going to continue to nurture myself. (to include mb-ing myself). I will continue to love people and trust people that are deserving of my trust. I will enjoy my kinks and I will respect yours, given that they are legal and consensual.


Take a Walk on the Wild Side (Lou Reed)

island


Edited by 1islandboy (02/11/17 08:32 PM)
_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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