FRACTURED NEWS HEADLINES
That didn't quite mean what they said, or said what they meant.

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again


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Todd Peters, Westfield High's star quarterback, broke his ankle and would miss several games.
The paper ran the story, with a headline
Westfield Team to Play Without Peters
There was such a furor over the headline that it was decided to use a different headline for next Friday night's game.
Westfield team to a Play With Peters Out
Again there was a furor over the headline.
The editor was embarrassed again, and said, "OK, this week no headline, just go with the interview."

The coach was happy to oblige. "I tell the team before each game without Peters you have to concentrate on penetration or you'll never score." The sports reporter asked the coach if he could confirm that renowned football great Dick Butterffield had volunteered to give the Westfield team some pointers on scoring. The coach relied, I don't know Dick."
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Never, never, never, never give up...Winston Churchill