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#505597 - 01/11/17 08:15 PM 3 times as an adult
Tom E. Offline

Registered: 01/08/17
Posts: 405
Loc: FL
Hi, Tom E. here-
My 1st adult rape was at 19 y.o. by a gay counselor who I thought would help me with my sexuality issues, instead he got me so drunk I couldn't walk, put me to bed & did it to me.. insane thing is, I thought this meant we were in a relationship & went back to him for more, for a few months..he stole my virginity, anally...
My 2nd rape was the following year at 20 y.o., I got extremely drunk at a party & again was staggering all over the place, this guy offered to help me home to my apartment, somewhere along the line I went into a blackout, I came out of it screaming while he raped me but I couldn't say STOP...
The last was at 27 or 28 y.o.I brought a guy home with me to my parents' house who were away, as soon as we got in the door he shoved me down on the floor ripped my pants & undies down and shoved it in.
I went numb and placid.. he let me up, I pulled my clothes up and he was following behind me while I in a daze started up the stairs. He then shoved me face 1st down on the stairs & ripped my clothes down again & did it again, I got up & totally shut down brought him to my bedroom & I don't remember much after that, but I remember giving him directions the next morning on how to get back to the highway... it really sucks when you have no power or self-worth &
there are people out there ready & willing to take advantage of you..

#505598 - 01/11/17 08:29 PM Re: 3 times as an adult - Triggers [Re: Tom E.]
Ceremony Offline

Registered: 09/15/16
Posts: 1907
Loc: Minnesota
Hi TomE,

I'm sorry that happened Tom. And the memories can be triggering. Being vulnerable in our histories is complex, we each have lived in a way that formed some of our thinking, feeling and behavior. When our/my vulnerable state us attacked, we/I know a means to manage what happens. Your feelings and security need love, friendship, empathy, compassion and the perpetrators reject that. They're predatory sociopaths, not giving, just takjng!

It's hard to share, I cried and cried, after some time, sharing has leveled out. The more I speak my truth, the less those horrors are haunting me. I haven't had a rape flashback for some time. I'm glad to read your truth, I know the hurt, the doubt, the deep pain.


Be well, it's safe to express you truth here, you're accepted, wanted.

#505609 - 01/12/17 03:01 AM Re: 3 times as an adult - Triggers [Re: Tom E.]
Tom E. Offline

Registered: 01/08/17
Posts: 405
Loc: FL
Thank you Ceremony, I know it get's better.. the adolescence abuse started at 10 ended at 15 with bullying thrown in for good measure.--- Tom E

#505914 - 01/23/17 05:59 PM Re: 3 times as an adult - Triggers [Re: Tom E.]
Sterling Offline

Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 1822
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
Sorry Tom E.

#505929 - 01/24/17 08:31 AM Re: 3 times as an adult - Triggers [Re: Tom E.]
Tom E. Offline

Registered: 01/08/17
Posts: 405
Loc: FL
Thanks Sterling-
I'm a lot better now
-- T


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