I am a male survivor and also have worked with CR - and have found it very helpful (in addition to therapy, support group, and lots of reading and writing and discussion here on MS.)
i am glad that when i was in the worst state of trying to deal with the CSA as an adult, my wife stuck with me. I was also very confused about my identity and orientation and did some things in reaction to the confusion that were troubling to my wife and detrimental to our relationship. eventually, we figured things out and we are still together.
this kind of confusion and varying degrees of acting out are very typical in survivors. not easy on the relationship! but very common. so there is no telling how things may turn out.
of course, since you are not married, you are under no obligation to stay together, and there may be reasons why it would not be in your own best interest to do so.
anyway, don't beat yourself up too much. you are not necessarily "wrong and closed-minded."
my best wishes as you continue to work through this.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....