Tryingtolive, It's a big deal, for you, for me, to at least sense others understand. I have that ability, that life, those experiences. All here, sharing like our dear brother zookeeper has now; all here begin to, have fully, or somewhere in between, connect to understanding.
This place of talk, poetry, discussion, disclosure, support foments our bond.
Here, in my house, pain reigns. Dear sorryson and Kevin understand, others? This is connection, this is validation, this partly releases my intense, full on muscle tearing rage! I can, in the moments of being called "dick" or hearing "sckscksck" for the 4th time on a day. For the 100th that week, for the 10,000th in a year, stir rage of berzerk ancients. I grab my headphones, and play music - rarely calming, I hear Mr. Chuck D's Public Enemy. It raps to oppression, greed of self serving bullies, corporations for oligarchs to supress change agents, advocacy! I listen! It changes my drive from inward rage, to outward thinking. Some drive in me, kindled at 18, on my own, Do something! Just do it!
Being poor, scapegoated, bullied, friendless, stirs fear in me. What will I do, how will I do it? I've been writing, almost 2 decades now. Sober almost 17 yrs, old with arthritis! 55 is NOT being kind to me! Poor again, pushed around, seeing bullies and fools in all the news, and few get ME! I think more of pity for me.
I want money and power, both I'll never have... To foment a break of corporate personhood, corporate drive to own it all, and representative governance, truly as intended... call me a delusional dreamer.
I'm a survivor with driven spirit. A mind well acquainted with the guile of others. Deeply passionate.
I know the wall. Mine keeps me tapping words, not saying them. Whom wants to listen to me?
I know the wall. Mine is now age, daily pain, physical and emotional.
I know the wall. Mine is guilt to involve family, who had nothing to do with this... except neglect when raising me. But now, they're wish is to love me, mine is fear. Mine is guilt. Mine is I can't take more than I already have every day.
I hear you Tryingtolive. I know. Ok?
Edited by Ceremony (01/03/17 04:24 PM)