I often experience distorted thinking. It is yet another result of the abuse I experienced. When that happens I can hear even the most well meant comment as offensive. Consequently, when I feel hurt or defensive I try to mentally check out my reaction.
I hope if anyone here feels that I have written something hurtful that they will feel comfortable PMing me. I am glad to respond and will not feel defensive.
I think that it is okay to ask for clarification even when we feel we can assume that everyone has our best interests at heart.
For me, that's just one more step in my recovery.
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.