Thanks for the reply J,
I think for me helping others is an emerging life philosophy, and I do truly think that I have dealt with my own pain to a good and full extent, I really do feel that in the whole I have dealt with the majority if not all of my previous feelings. Now and again I still have to remind myself to take proper care of myself, but maybe that's normal?
I think, for me, my main remaining pain is that I feel I have so much to give, so much love and caring and understanding, that it is just extremely unsatisfying living a life just for myself. So I guess helping others does help me in that respect, because I am most happy when helping others. Maybe in that sense it is impossible not to be selfish even when being selfless, maybe that's too philosophical lol.