There is a voice inside my head, always telling me that I have to be more than what I am.
I cannot silence this voice. Ever.
Sometimes, I can ride this wave that pushes me to become better. Other times, I lose my balance, and the wave collapses on top of me, drowning me in shame, feelings of worthlessness, and thoughts of being a failure.
I silently wish for the mediocre life, yet every time I try to immerse myself in it, some force - I don't know what - tears me away from it. I long for it, but I can't stand it for too long.
I've found that the only way I can give myself a break from this wretched contradiction is to interact, as much as I can, with those who are content with who I am - people who aren't concerned with who I can be.
"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Pasternak