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#494870 - 02/01/16 10:55 PM childhood emotional neglect and alexithymia
AndrewT Offline


Registered: 09/12/11
Posts: 25
Loc: Seattle, WA

Stumbled across discussion of alexithymia this weekend and I really identify with a lot of the problems and symptoms that it describes:

http://www.alexithymia.us/

http://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C

I have a terrible time identifying my emotions on a frequent basis and then have problems figuring out how to verbalize those feelings as well. I am horribly self critical. I do fine in social and professional situations, but in intimate personal relationships that involve emotions...its way more difficult.

I always just thought I was an introvert and codependent (which I am) but its an interesting approach to think about this as an separate problem that comes from growing up in a very emotionally devoid environment.

Thought this might be of a help to others here as well.

Thanks,
_________________________
I will be patient with myself and let myself heal from my abuse according Gods plan and not my own.

“You can get the child out of abuse, but getting the abuse out of the child is a different ball game.”

My story: http://tinyurl.com/AndrewTStory

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#494989 - 02/04/16 08:38 PM Re: childhood emotional neglect and alexithymia [Re: AndrewT]
Nothing Man Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 1108
Loc: Ohio
Hi Andrew.

I think a lot of us (definitely I do) struggle with dealing with emotions because we fear doing so, even a little, will begin to untie the Gordian know we have woven to keep ourselves in check. In effect, we are afraid if we let our guard down the floodgates will open and all of the emotions -- the anger, the fear, the horror, the shock, the shame -- will all come out uncontrolled and we will be vulnerable and open for exploitation once again. It is a hard thing to do. I know I hate dealing with emotions because I know my control and grasp over them is tenuous at best.

I describe myself as an introvert. I am able to maintain a socially acceptable level of involvement in social and business situations but that certainly does not mean that I enjoy them. I have simply learned how to don a mask that carries me through the moment without others knowing how uncomfortable I actually am.

As survivors, self-criticism seems to be a common denominator. We tend to blame ourselves for everything whether or not that blame is deserved. It is a twisted form of self-preservation; if we make what was done to us our fault then, our logic goes, we can change our behavior to prevent it from re-occurring. But that of course is false logic. We were not to blame, regardless of what the dysfunctionality preaches to us. We were not to blame.
_________________________
Suisse et libre
2015 WoR Hope Springs

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#495028 - 02/05/16 01:35 PM Re: childhood emotional neglect and alexithymia [Re: AndrewT]
KMCINVA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3785
andrewt

I had never heard of this condition. I did some reading and found it quite interesting--almost 10% of the population. It seems the individual lacks empathy and this may help to explain why many have a disregard for the emotions and feelings of others. Being able to express emotions instead of projecting them on to others is essential in developing healthy relationships.

Thank you for enlightening me

Kevin

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