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#482708 - 05/23/15 08:25 PM God forgiving my perps
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 415
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

So the onus is on me and not my perps, all they have to do is forgive someone for something and what they did to me is forgiven, whereas I have to forgive them to be forgiven for feeling shame and guilt, for drinking too much, for suicidal tendencies, for trying to forget through self medication?

Doesn't seem right, maybe someone could explain.

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#482713 - 05/23/15 10:40 PM Re: God forgiving my perps [Re: tbkkfile]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 942
Loc: Kc,Mo
A big part of forgiveness is for yourself , to release the hatred and bitterness in your heart. When you forgive you are becoming more and more conformed to the image of Christ. Look at it this way If you believe your are sinner and fall short of the glory of God and yet God not only sent his son to die for you but he also forgives you of all of your sins. That being said if God forgives you of your sins than he is giving you the opportunity for forgive as well. No way is it acceptable for what anyone does to a child but the reality is that we are the ones that have made some sins greater than others . The fact that the sin has caused you great harm does suck but sin is sin and instead of putting a category on the severity of the sin lets just say that this person is a sinner and in need of grace and forgiveness the same mercy and forgiveness that we receive every single day. We all fall short and there is nothing on the other side of all. We are all in need of forgiveness and mercy because we sin every day we all just sin in different ways and in different areas of our lives. Looking at it from the standpoint of the flesh we want what is contrary to the spirit and the flesh says to hell with them let them burn while the spirit see's a broken soul a sinner in need of grace. God says to forgive because we are forgiven. I am not saying any of this is a ray of sunshine or easy but I have to say if people would learn to begin to live out the pages of scripture instead of picking and choosing what they want and just submit to it peoples lives would begin to have more peace.
This is a hard pill to swallow. God can help you with all of your issues brother . He truly can because he did it for me I have been you in every way as far as the suicidal tendencies , self medication,guilt, shame , drinking alcohol to the extent of poisoning myself 3 times , porn addiction, the list goes on.
The key is to seek God with all your heart and you will find him. This has to be a continuous thing and he will begin to heal you one step at a time. I am sober 14 yrs now and free from porn and I am healed in my spirit to the point I can go to a prison every WED and teach classes at a prison and some of the men are convicted sex offenders . God says his will is for that ALL men be saved and like i said there is nothing on the other side of all . In my flesh i did not want to but it is not my will but Gods will. I am just choosing to be obedient to the call as well as the gospel. I have forgiven and have let God be the ultimate judge on what their punishment will be . I choose to not only believe the Gospel I am choosing to live it out. God wants you to forgive because he forgives and continues to daily
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#482750 - 05/24/15 05:01 PM Re: God forgiving my perps [Re: tbkkfile]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Originally Posted By: tbkkfile
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

So the onus is on me and not my perps, all they have to do is forgive someone for something and what they did to me is forgiven, whereas I have to forgive them to be forgiven for feeling shame and guilt, for drinking too much, for suicidal tendencies, for trying to forget through self medication?

Doesn't seem right, maybe someone could explain.


Yes. What they did to me is forgiven by God if they ask Him for it.

Though the probable reasoning for my acting-out ways of dealing with it all in the past is likewise forgiven.

I chose to forgive them, and go that one verification step further and wish them well. Its unconditional forgiveness. Its my way of truly being rid of them.

Now, do I Still have flashbacks and fear them? Heck YES! Do I Still feel they forever altered my life, destroyed my psyche, my self esteem, my ability to trust people, my academics, my marriage, etc? YES! I know they did all of that.

They were the instruments of evil and I was their victim. I am also their survivor. But their salvation is between them and God. I have nothing to do with it. But in forgiving them, I no longer carry them around with me in my heart.

The day I forgave them was the day my heart lightened by 40 lbs.

I forgive Dean, John, Jeffrey, and Mark....and I wish them all well, else I become an instrument of evil.

Some may ask how I can "be like that" with those four, and be so vicious and militant with others' perps. I can get into that on another thread if asked.

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#482754 - 05/24/15 07:41 PM Re: God forgiving my perps [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6401
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
dear tbkkfile,
i was working on an answer, but others have done that for me.

thank you, nltsaved and still, for putting my thoughts into words.
i think the same way, more or less.

my story of forgiveness is here for all to read.
it is full of triggers and may upset some folks.

Healing Through Forgiveness
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...2551#Post432551

all comments are welcome.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

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