14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
So the onus is on me and not my perps, all they have to do is forgive someone for something and what they did to me is forgiven, whereas I have to forgive them to be forgiven for feeling shame and guilt, for drinking too much, for suicidal tendencies, for trying to forget through self medication?
Doesn't seem right, maybe someone could explain.
Yes. What they did to me is forgiven by God if they ask Him for it.
Though the probable reasoning for my acting-out ways of dealing with it all in the past is likewise forgiven.
I chose to forgive them, and go that one verification step further and wish them well. Its unconditional forgiveness. Its my way of truly being rid of them.
Now, do I Still have flashbacks and fear them? Heck YES! Do I Still feel they forever altered my life, destroyed my psyche, my self esteem, my ability to trust people, my academics, my marriage, etc? YES! I know they did all of that.
They were the instruments of evil and I was their victim. I am also their survivor. But their salvation is between them and God. I have nothing to do with it. But in forgiving them, I no longer carry them around with me in my heart.
The day I forgave them was the day my heart lightened by 40 lbs.
I forgive Dean, John, Jeffrey, and Mark....and I wish them all well, else I become an instrument of evil.
Some may ask how I can "be like that" with those four, and be so vicious and militant with others' perps. I can get into that on another thread if asked.