I think I am. what is the big deal?
don't know. I am embarrassed.
I know my mom was ashamed of me. or was it bozna didn't like
me. the second one.
I am gay . my folks know.
I am wondering if to just leave.
very depressed about living here.
what makes it better in Ontario?
your bio dad?
no. sometimes. I feel so unsure or nervous about seeing my dad.
he is a strange individual.
he needs his family.
too hard to accept. he needed them and embarrassed me.
don't need to watch porn , focus!
okay so I feel so lost. I definitely am gay.
I love guys. I definitely like menl. I like women.
just not sexually. I remember this girl Vesna
back in 83 ...we played and I was on top of her and she was
down in her underwear and I was turned off. sign
and her mom came pounding on the door.
She put on her clothes and opened the door.
I have never wacked off to women.
and yet I get turned on by my adad. this is gross.
He is sick he wants me. I and me thato is a cunt!!
I hate this. I hate that I have an idiot for a father.
and I hate it that everyone has wonderful lives.
So what can I do? come out?
ya. like to who. I should tell Rachel my landlord.
I don't know what she would think. but is it necessary?
why should I just tell? why would it matter?
I just want love and want to be honest.
I deserve this!
If I lived in Ontario I might be very disappointed.
I should just fuck off to Australia.
Moving moving. fear. annoying panic dust.
sugar = frees. bilie. billie cant allow that m that her
dad likes kids. she is sick and I have my brain.
she cant hurt me anymore.
what kind of a dad is this? he kills me and blames his problems on me. he can eat. I am tired of being a flirt to women. that is why I don't k do. this. I like men.
I hate thi that I hat tom be so quiet . they always would feed me and look at goran he is sick! he needs his dad.
They would do this to so thiey wouldn't have to feel their own pain. o h I get it.
I cant have it all. But I get shit and then I try to get my anger out. But it si isn't working.
bc I ,kkk fat. fat fat fat. fat fat .fat.
so forget the perogies this Friday.
forget the pizza. I have feel my anger. that is it.
and then iheard that say. and then I watched about last night. and then when I saw nigel leave it ..I felt angry bekaz he likes crystal. and crystal momentarily is making me feel she is availing to me. not true. very true!!
and so I told her truth. I asked her about Nigel and h know he has a crush on her. . and I wasn't attracted to her.
.then when I see a guy s ass in public. I know I want that!
that tells me that I am GAY. ah. so. this is hard to
accept I think bekaz these assholes really are d.
I am dec em ber. sholc. dnt time. if I am patient. oy
t need money. how is I cant get a job....
need money. and . . Gman is gay. good move on nowm