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#48038 - 04/10/04 06:13 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
wrangler Offline

Registered: 09/06/03
Posts: 84
Loc: Northern Virginia
I had to sleep on this before I could even consider writing something about it. Now that I am thinking a little more clearly I do have a couple of things to say, none of which are for Heather.

Experiences like this one, and a few recent others, have reminded me that the internet is largely anonymous and ultimately quite dangerous. But there is a strange comfort in that anonymity and tends to lull me into a false sense of security. I start to believe that I have found a haven from the bad and unpleasant things in the world. Here at MaleSurvivor it has been uniquely easy to feel safe from harm because so many people care so much about each other. But where there are good things there will always be bad people trying to capitalize on them. It is one of the simple facts of life.

In the end, I have had to fall back on what I knew all along. There are no “safe” places… the potential for harm is everywhere. It is my job to protect myself, to keep in place those important emotional boundaries until I have a fairly complete understanding of the present situation. It is all too easy for me to dichotomize safety. I would prefer that a place or person was safe or not safe. Of course the truth is that people and situations are all just varying degrees safe or dangerous, and even the degree is something that can change with time or mood.

Ultimately I believe that it all comes down to the very difficult task of protecting myself from unknown or known-to-be-dangerous things while maintaining the courage to comfortably let in the people and things that do me more good than harm. Learning to do this is proving to be a long hard slog, and days like yesterday feel like setbacks. But after sleeping on it, I know that is was a lesson, not a setback. It hurts, like most lessons do, but I know better how to treat the internet. It is a place for honest reflection and tender words of concern, advice, and empathy. But it is not a place guaranteed never to hurt me, and it is a mistake to treat it as such.

Even the experience of talking to “Nao” was useful to me. My belief that I was talking to a fourteen year old boy very similar to myself helped me reconnect with my own fourteen year old experience. This was not really the result of good acting or sincerity on the part of “Nao”… the belief was just a catalyst that moved me closer to something I am increasingly ready to face… my own real experience as a teenager.

It hurt when I imagined the guilt that “Nao” was feeling, and it hurts to have been betrayed, especially on so sensitive and emotional a subject as child abuse. But all of that hurt has come to good for me, strengthening my resolve to become the master of my own safety, well being and happiness.

There is a book that I finished reading recently by C.S. Lewis titled The Problem of Pain. I would highly recommend it to anyone wrestling with how a kind and loving God can allow so much pain. I mentioned this book to “Nao” as well, and the recommendation still stands. I bring this up here because there is a passage in that book that captures my feelings about what Heather has done.

The Problem of Pain, by C.S. Lewis:

For you will certainly carry out God’s purpose, however you act, but it makes a difference whether you serve like Judas or like John. The whole system is, so to speak, calculated for the clash between good men and bad men … To turn this into a general charter for afflicting humanity ‘because affliction is good for them’ is not indeed to break the Divine scheme but to volunteer for the post of Satan within that scheme. If you do his work, you must be prepared for his wages.
My prayers are for all of us, that we may grow from this… that we may be strong for ourselves where we were once weak.


"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself." -Mary Schmich

#48040 - 04/10/04 07:06 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
MikeNY Offline

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
By the way you F*****G BITCH, I barely feel like I belong here, although I KNOW otherwise, you definitely have NO F*****G right to be here.

"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

#48041 - 04/10/04 07:47 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Rod Offline

Registered: 03/19/04
Posts: 10
Loc: Salt Lake City
Hi Heather

As usual, you said too much sometime in the last few days. I know you're not off the board.

Doesn't matter though... we can handle you.

Did you get down all of our conversation for use as dialogue in your novel? Too bad you're not good enough to write it yourself.

If your book DOES come out, be prepared for the backlash.... I'm hypervigilant for words.... I'll remember which conversations were with me, and which chat alias you used.

#48042 - 04/10/04 07:56 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
LupinIII Offline

Registered: 02/21/04
Posts: 156
Okay I have to add some more thoughts after further review:

1)There is no book. I don't think there ever was a book nor will there ever be one.

2)I am trying to find compassion for this person. If we stop and think about what she actually did...this is one sick fuck. I am sure many of us can remember a time in our lives where we did really stupid shit because we were in sickness...well this woman is worse. She is..well once again one sick fuck. I think she deserves everything that is coming to her as far as postings and karma goes. However, at the same time I must feel some pity for this poor creature.

Hell even Frodo develops pity for Gollum.

3) I once again have to say thanks to Ken. Super Job!!!!

#48043 - 04/10/04 08:04 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
crisispoint Offline

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
A couple of other things, "Heather,"

One. I just asked Ken to send me your name. I told you very personal information about my abuse, and I want you to know that I'm watching to see if you publish. If I see ANYTHING that even comes CLOSE to the information I gave you, I will sue you and prosecute you for the fraud that you are.

Two. I also go to other boards, and as a writer myself, I know your style. If I even SUSPECT you are playing this game somewhere else, I WILL EXPOSE YOU. You WILL NOT DO THIS TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN! I will use all legal means to make sure of this.

I also gave Ken my e-mail address and permission for him to release it to you. The only thing I want to hear from you is an apology and a printable agreement that you will NOT USE ANYTHING I GAVE YOU, AS YOU GOT IT THROUGH FRAUD.

You have hurt me like my abuser hurt me. I hope you can live with this. You are an abuser and I hate you. I hate what you did to me, and I HATE WHAT YOU DID TO THE BROTHERS.

I hope that you can live with yourself.

And I'm not hiding from you like you did me.

Scot Robert Carr

There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

#48044 - 04/10/04 08:05 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
James_dup1 Offline

Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
"Heather" (if thats your name),
You say your "trying" to write a book, you say you were doing research, you say you were also a vitume of SA. HOW AS A VICTUME OF SA COULD YOU EVEN THINK THIS WOULD BE AN OK WAY TO FIND OUT ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!!!! You lied to us, lots of us gave you support can cared about "your family". To think that any one would print a book writen by someone who a liar. Ofcouse why know if the writing falls down you can always go to Washington. :p You should be ashamed of yourself, I hope you find a t to help you get over your fantacy life you have in your twisted little head. I dont belive your 22 I dont believe your a writer; I dont belive you are/were a victume of SA. I hope you find the help you need to make your life complete, but you have burned the bridge of the support that we give each other here. Because that whats we do support each other, I know thats something you dont understand as of yet. One day you'll look back on this and understand just what you have lost.


I have more issues than Rolling Stone!

#48045 - 04/10/04 09:45 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
ecb Offline

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 205
I have not read all of the responses to this yet as I don't have the time right now or, quite frankly, the fortitude.

I will say this much, some of which may well need to be edited.

First of all a HUGE HUGE thank you to Ken and the other staff members here at MS for exposing this and doing thier best to keep this board safe for us.

If this woman really wanted to gain information without hurting anyone she would have posted as herself and said why. This way she would not have risked hurting any of us who were more vulnerable and not willing to tell thier story while still getting what she needed from those of use who could.

Her "apology" is an attempt at an excuse. Fuck her. If she truely is a survivor she should know the extent of how hard it is for us to trust and what she has done. Maybe she is and maybe she isn't but if she is that makes her actions here that much worse because she fucking knows better.

I find myself at a loss for more words. I am beyond pissed!

#48046 - 04/11/04 03:58 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
gryffindor Offline

Registered: 02/08/03
Posts: 131
Loc: St. Charles, Illinois
This breaks my heart. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if this woman was out for some kind of revenge. Because it was such a stupid thing to do. If she was a real writer, she would have read a few months of posts and found out everything she wanted and needed to know. Whatever made her want to play these parts? She has no ability to empathize with those who have been betrayed. Instead she becomes the betrayer. It's too weird for me. I feel like slapping her face.

"Where there's a will, there's a way." American Folk Saying

"Had I not fallen, I could not have arisen; had I not sat in darkness, I would not have recognized the light." Midrash Tehillim Ch. 22

#48047 - 04/11/04 06:55 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Angry_youth_86_Keith Offline

Registered: 11/06/02
Posts: 103
Loc: Olympia, Washington
I can only say that I told you guys this. or some of you including mods that I deal with kids supposdly the age that "nao" portrayed. He didn't match up at all. I made thos opinoins clear. All of you ppl who blew it off as me being paranoid should eat some humble pie. Because I see kids 14-17 every single day at school and not to long ago i WAS that age. I have no problem proving my ID to a mod/admin and actually purposely posted a picture of ME holding my sk8s b/c I heard things of ppl thinking i was a fake. Now that you are all so hurt. I hope next time u MIGHT take someones opinoin slightly more seriously when they have knowledge in which they talk of *first hand experience* Nao was obviously a fake to me. 1. Nao never TOOK advice, he just wanted to bitch and moan
2. He didn't want advice, he wanted pitty which shows the sick mind set of this "author". I remeber SO many times me purposly giving him solid and concrete advice, because some of his "issues" mimicd mine that i had/have and he/she would just want a pitty party, or this annoying rude and moronic *nod* crap nao did ALL the time. Nao never tryed to heal, just brought up tired subject for shock effect. And I am mad that you all/most bought into it. I was sayin alot of the things exposed from the first night i saw nao in the room talking. I dont want anything out of this expect to show people..just cus of someones age, or if u disagree doesn't mean they are not knowledgeable in wat they speak of and might be right.

"Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity"- Greg Graffin

"Live fast, die young, leave a great looking corpse"-Ronny Van Zant

#48048 - 04/11/04 07:39 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
I'm Alone Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 02/15/04
Posts: 9
Loc: USA
She is a Fucking whore and i hope she rots and dies...only wish i could [edited] myself.

While outrage is certainly understandable and deserved threats of violence are not. F.

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
Niccolo Machiavelli (1469 - 1527

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

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