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#47712 - 12/15/04 05:44 PM Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
VEGA Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 12
About three months ago on a Saturday morning, I was attending a therapy session. After speaking with my therapist, I left the building only to see across the street a group of seminarians, Monks, priests, nuns and parishioners protesting in front of a building that deals with abortions.

As I stood across the street watching them walk in front of the abortion building, I was angry at the fact of those men a woman of "clergy" are able to stand together and preach to women how abortion is wrong and how they are killing a child yet to be born.

I began to speak with a gentleman who was to speak to the seminarians about the abortion issue and this man asked me if I had a girl friend that was getting an abortion. I of course said, NO. I told him that it amazes me how these people of the church can get together and protest against the abortion but, they cannot get together to voice there displeasures of their own kind within the priesthood of sexual abuse by priests or clergy.

This man asked was I abused by a priest. I said yes, I was abused by a priest and a deacon. He then asked me if I would be willing to speak to a priest who was protesting against the abortion clinic and tell my story on how I was abused by a priest. At first I said, No and explained that I do not want to be surrounded by these priests.
The man said, I would walk with you but instead he went and told a priest to come speak to me.
I started to ask why is it that all of you (priests) can get together and talk about how woman are killing children when Priests ,nuns and people of clergy are doing the same by sexually abusing children. That is killing a Childs heart and spirit.
This priest said that they are dealing with it within the church. I said, it figures. To make matters worse, once I told him of my story and this is what confused the heck out of me. This priest said to me that he is "pro-action". I said HUH? Ok I know he is for pro-action now and this is why he is here protesting but, why isn't this priest taking ACTION on those priests who abuse children. So again I asked him, if a child tells him that he was just abused by a priest what would he do? He said, the very first thing he would do is confront the priest. CONFRONT THE PRIEST! I was floored! I asked, why ask? Just to see if it is true and he'll tell you no and it goes un-reported? He then said, no I would go with the child to the police but, only after I said, that it was his obligation to report an sexual abuse to the police first not to confront the priest or run to your bishop and take care of it like they usually do, by removing the priest to another church and never reporting the abuse until it is too late.
This priest was clueless and I was stunned on the opinion he kept giving me on how the abortion issue was different from the sexual abuse by clergy. The man was to speak at the seminary school said, he was not going to speak about the abortion issue now. He told the priest that he would focus on the sexual abuse issue and invited me to attend that meeting and of course I said, no because I was alone and I rather have an event like that with the bishop and seminarians along with other survivors from all organizations.
I do not know if he in reality he did speak about the sexual abuse issue but, it was obvious that getting together to rally against abortion was easier then to put a rally together against their own and the bishop of priest who sexually and kill the spirits and hearts of little children.

I hope I made sense of all this but, I thought I just share this with you.


#47713 - 12/15/04 06:08 PM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
Aden Offline

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
As individuals we can only take on so much. Sometime I think that our values are appointed to us according to our spirits. Some would save the whales. Some would save the unborn babies. Some would defend the abused children. But who would strip the defenders of worthy causes of their right to stand fast in their beliefs? Little boys are raped and babies are buchered. Are priest and nuns wrong to oppose the massacure of innocense because you were abused by a priest?


#47714 - 12/15/04 06:59 PM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
VEGA Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 12
Priests and Nuns and for that matter anyone has the right to defend those who are defenseless. I am not saying that they cannot protest of what they believe in but, woman having abortions are aslo thier right wether is right or wrong. They are not breaking any laws of the land.
Priests and Nuns are breaking the laws of the land when it comes to sexually abusing children who are defenseless. They go by the "church laws' to take care of the sexual abuse that is reported to them. Some bishops and clergy reported to the proper authorities and most of them do not. They hide it as if you are going to them to to confess of a crime that we did not commit.
I do not want anyone feeling sorry for me because I was abused by a priest and deacon. I was just sharing what I had experienced and my opinion of how I felt at that moment.

#47715 - 12/15/04 09:17 PM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
Rustam Offline

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 474
Loc: UK
Hola Vega,

Last year a friend of mine came to London to have an abortion, (she had been raped) when we went to the clinic there was a mob of smug priests and nuns outside. As someone who grew up catholic I was really angry with them for the way the talked to the women, most of whom were Irish Catholics. It really felt like a sinning institution casting stones at young women whom they would also condemn for being single mothers. I think they should get their own rotten house in order before they start preaching to the rest of us.

So I think I understand your reaction Vega. I was shaking with anger.


#47716 - 12/15/04 10:19 PM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6848
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Vega, abortion is abuse, there are a miriad of things that are abusive and infringe the basic rights of animals and humans.

The priest, the man, the woman, anyone else cannot address the questions you ask unless they have been there, and that is why they cannot defend themselves.

People are denied the knowing of what really happens to the mind of an abused kid, they wouldn't have a clue!

There is so much uproar when an abuse is published in teh media, but it is forgotten days after.

In my mind it, goes on for ever, it is magnified so much more greatly than others, and it makes me vomit at how much goes on in the World.

War and famine are two more abuses to name some of teh many, but they are not as glossy.

take care, and one day our voices will be heard,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#47717 - 12/15/04 10:58 PM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
VEGA Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 12
Personally, I never can imagine what a woman goes through when they are placed in a position when they had to choose in this matter of abortion. I have known a couple of women when they have said that they would never have an abortion because they would never kill a baby but, one of them was raped and the other got pregnant by not using protection and both were faced with the issue of abortion and both choose to do so against what they had originally thought and said.
The only day I look foward to is when I die. That is when I will be in a place where no harm is done to one self.
I never thought I would be having a lawsuit against the church but, then again I never thought I would be sexually abused by a priest and a deacon.
I know this is a very touchy subject and I respect all your opinions. Thank you

#47718 - 12/16/04 05:34 AM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
unknownsoldier Offline

Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 105
Loc: Northwest

I just wanted to say that your courage in talking to the seminarian speaker really inspired me. You had know idea how he would react, but you went up to him and told your truth, and it sounds like you reached him and taught him something.

Hats off to you.

#47719 - 12/16/04 06:49 AM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
Ivanhoe Offline

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
I have to agree, you may have given us the idea for the perfect opportunity to spread the word about abuse in the world.
How many women in the world seek abortion, which is legal, and how many children in the world are abused by priests?
Getting one's house in order is the order of the day.
Thank you for sharing this heroic episode in your life. Maybe we should ask those priests who are shouting at those women at abortion clinics if they have ever abused a child and what are they doing about their Brothers who have.
I echo your comment, why aren't they rallying against them? After all, they are stinking up their ranks, aren't they?


"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

#47720 - 12/16/04 12:04 PM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
learning2remember Online   content

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 413
Loc: Europe
Possible trigger for those abused by clergy.

I need to take a break from this site soon. Please don't take it personally, but I just need that, in the same way at other times I need to check. But, before I sign off, I think you've brought up some important stuff.

Congratulations for going into the mob and speaking about your experience. That takes tremendous courage. Wow. It inspires me.

Secondly, it sounds like you entered meaningful dialogue, even if it didn't satisfy you.

Let me say this, even if those priests gave you the party line, I have no doubt that meeting someone like you planted a seed that will make them reflect a little.

About reporting, I can tell you that some states do not require clergy to report abuse. Social workers, medical professionals, teachers--they are all mandated reporters. Pastors, priests, rabbis--not according to state law. Absolutely mind boggling.

I am a Protestant pastor, and started dealing with abuse issues when I was still in seminary. I heard that some folks were trying to change the local law so that clergy would be required to disclose if questioned in court. So far, that hasn't gone through. I know in the Roman Catholic church, confession is a sacrament and some clergy feel unable to report what is revealed then. Even if that is someone's stance, it is worthwhile to check exactly what counts as confidential confession legally.

More importantly, how can we as people who represent God's love protect confidentially instead of protecting men, women, and children. I see absolutely no theological defense.

Although the legislatures are slower than I would wish, there are signs of hope. I think most seminaries of mainline Protestant churches are teaching students to make very clear at the outset which sort of information can remain confidential and which things the pastor is either required to report or unwilling to keep a secret.

There is a lot of very ugly stuff out there--ignorance, fear, denial, even pride, but there is hope. It is the hope that I cling to.

I have been reluctant to let people here know that I am ordained. One reason is that I know that could be a trigger for some of my brothers here. The other reason is that I am terrified that someone could put the peaces together from my postings, figure out my real identity, and call me unworthy to serve.

"This is not my shame, this is their shame." Mona Eltahawy

#47721 - 12/16/04 03:26 PM Re: Best part of the ice cream is the cherry on top.
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
L2M. Thank you for this very good reply and your support.

Now one thing. There is no way on God's earth that anyone and I mean anyone would think that you are unworthy to serve. Quite the opposite is true I believe. You Sir bring a compassionate voice to organized religion and I and your brothers here can only hope that there are a legion of likewise Ministers out there.

Enjoy your time away from us.



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