Newest Members
mmm coffee, Calibre09, FallGuy2154, Whoamitoday, Joe4618
13527 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
anon_wife (37), Chilly Willy (57), FC (57), JHB1976 (41), malitovsky1 (63), Roofus (46), Sara L. (35), TexasCowboy (55), toni (62)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 64 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,527 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,364 Topics
491,390 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#47491 - 02/25/03 05:20 AM Is calling SA rape the wrong term?
Nathan LaChine Offline

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5411
Loc: Washington State
I use to work in a rape/advocacy center and have been told that rape is a crime of power not of sex. I guess that is not the right way of stating it, I do believe that rape is more about power then sex. I think that SA is a crime of power but I feel it is more of a sexually preference. Would you guys agree with my statement or not?

#47492 - 02/25/03 07:12 AM Re: Is calling SA rape the wrong term?
RJD Offline

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
I guess saying it is a preference could be said when adult men rape adult women too. It is still about an abuse of power as you have said. Was my mother a predator preferring children? It doesn't feel like it holds true for her as a predator. There were too many available vulnerable victims. It was a path of least resistance, the abuse of power. Her own little brother, I believe, was her victim, losing her father while young, marrying a man twice her age, three vulnerable sons. She didn't go next door. She dated only once after my father died. My brothers and I were the men of her house.

A predator fits in another category, but it is still the abuse of power and he gets a charge out of that. That is why it is his preference. I think a preference means many, many more devastatingly wounded human beings

A definition of abuse I've always liked is, "the laying of adult expectations on a child.

SA is a form of rape. I don't see a distinction for preference. There is violent SA. There are "Velvet Glove" molestations through seduction/coersion,where physical force is not used.

#47493 - 02/25/03 11:35 PM Re: Is calling SA rape the wrong term?
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Sexual Abuse & Rape Definitions from:

"When Trust Is Lost," Dan Allender, brochure.

The Definition of the Problem.

Sexual abuse involves any contact or interaction whereby a vulnerable person (usually a child or adolescent) is used for the sexual stimulation of an older, stronger, or more influential person.

Sexual abuse is much broader than forced, unforced, or simulated intercourse. It includes any touching, rubbing, or patting that is meant to arouse sexual pleasure in the offender. It may also involve visual, verbal, or psychological interaction where there is no physical contact.

Visual sexual abuse may involve exposing a victim to pornography or to any other sexually provocative scene (including exposure to showering, intercourse, or various states of undress).

Verbal sexual abuse involves an attempt to seduce or shame a child by the use of sexual or suggestive words.

Psychological sexual abuse includes interactions where a child is regularly used to play the role of an adult spouse, confidant, or counselor. For example, a mother who tells her 12-year-old son her sexual frustrations with his father, and shares her deep thoughts and feelings with him in a way that invites him to a level of adult intimacy, has violated the young man's sexual identity.
"Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse" by Mic Hunter

"When a person uses tricks, power, threats, or violence to have sexual contact with another adult, it is called rape or sexual assault. When the victimized person is a child, people often use the phrase, child molesting, When a child is molested by a relative, it is called incest."

"Sexual abuse is in fact a sexual act. That cannot be ignored. Yet it is much more than merely a sexual act...Sexual abuse can be an expression of power, compulsivenesss, a desire for control, or an act of vengeance, which often comes masked as an act of love."
Women's Caucus for Gender Justice

Definition of Rape


The perpetrator invaded the body of a person by conduct resulting in penetration, however slight, of any part of the body of the victim or of the perpetrator with a s*xual org*n, or of the *nal or g*nit*l *pening of the victim with any object or any other part of the body.

[The concept of "invasion" is intended to be broad enough to be gender-neutral.]


The invasion was committed by force, or by threat of force or coercion, such as that caused by fear of violence, duress, detention, psychological oppression or abuse of power, against such person or another person, or by taking advantage of a coercive environment, or the invasion was committed against a person incapable of giving genuine consent.

[It is understood that a person may be incapable of giving genuine consent if affected by natural, induced or age-related incapacity.
From these & other definitions I've gathered, as well as my own experiences & those of others, I'd say it seems that rape is a form, perhaps THE form
of overt SA. While rape involves power & control, it is definitely also sexual. Also, probably most forms of SA to some degree & in some way involve power & control issues.

Whether it's more about power or sex may depend on the person and the situation. It's about both.

Whatever it's about, it's about evil!

That's IMHO.

BTW Nathan welcome to the board, and a very good question too! thanks.


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

#47494 - 02/26/03 04:23 AM Re: Is calling SA rape the wrong term?
guy43 Offline

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
and it's about soul murder!


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.