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#474512 - 01/04/15 05:53 PM dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 473
Just a small reminder that we are now the fathers for that beautiful boy living inside of us.
Have a happy 2015.

_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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#474518 - 01/04/15 08:21 PM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
Bardo Offline


Registered: 09/24/14
Posts: 321
So true, and to those of us with sons of our own, doubly so. Thank you for posting this, and Happy and Healthy New Year!
_________________________
Through these fields of destruction
Baptisms of fire
I've witnessed your suffering
As the battles raged higher

And though we were hurt so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

-Mark Knopfler

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#474524 - 01/04/15 08:53 PM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 473
thank you bardo, happy wishes to you and your family! Big hug
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

Top
#474540 - 01/05/15 05:36 AM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 423
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
I just knew that I was going to cry when I read the title of your post

Peace and healing

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#474541 - 01/05/15 06:50 AM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
KMCINVA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 4229
Loc: VIRGINIA
We can never forget that child within. He suffered so much and now it is his time to live amongst us and not separated by the abuse. Thank you for sharing, it reminded me of how I pushed the child to a dark place over the decades, I disowned him but now that he is part of me life is good.

Happy New Year to you.

Kevin

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#474564 - 01/05/15 02:47 PM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4523
Loc: NE Ohio
wow - that choked me up, too. the night before, i was at a big event and sat next to an 11-yr-old boy during dinner - the same age that i was when some of the worst stuff happened to me. that was another jolt - triggering in a way - like this - but in a GOOD way - if you know what i mean - helping me to embrace my younger self in a way i was unable to at one time.

Thanks,
Lee
_________________________
"The wound is the place where the light enters you."
- Rumi

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#474572 - 01/05/15 07:23 PM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 401
Loc: Midwest
Thanks for the post. For me, one of the hardest things is finding a way to forgive myself. This gives me hope that it can be done.

Traveler - I know well what you speak of. I work with kids for a living, and every once in awhile I'm reminded that some of these kids are the age I was when the CSA occurred. I would never ever let anyone hurt one of my kids. I wish, though, someone would have been there for me. Oh well, no sense of longing for what never will be.

Dave

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#474579 - 01/06/15 02:15 AM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 473
I was gushing tears when i heard this song as well!

And true, so true what you say Davo about finding a way to forgive oneself, i never knew i even had to do this until now.,All the shame and things in me which are bad are not my fault. It's as if i have to perpetually compensate for some innate defect in me, when in truth this defect is nonexistent , it's just compounded shame and guilt. Lately i just remind myself than in the grand scheme of life i am just a drop in the ocean and whatever happened to me doesn't define me. I can choose. Hard work and patience get's you where you need to go. And i stay positive. Again keeping you all my prayers tonight i sign off wishing you the best my friends.
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

Top
#474580 - 01/06/15 02:16 AM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 473
by the way i keep a picture of the younger me always near by, and talk to him all the time. This has proved most beneficial for me!
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

Top
#474596 - 01/06/15 09:29 AM Re: dedicated to the beautiful boy in all of us [Re: justplainme]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 430
Loc: Western Europe
Originally Posted By: justplainme
by the way i keep a picture of the younger me always near by, and talk to him all the time. This has proved most beneficial for me!

What a great idea! I've seen some pictures in family albums and I'm going to scan and get some personal favorites myself.
Thanks for the idea and the post!
_________________________
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

I now know who I am - I've never been anybody else!

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