Please go easy on yourself. This is a safe place, and there are a lot of guys here to help.
We've talked about the words we use for what we have to do to get past the effects of sexual abuse. We've talked about being on a "journey" or a "long road" to healing. Well, if it's a road, it could sure stand some paving!
I don't know what's getting at you right now, but I do know that you are in a good place here. You can unload, you can find someone who will believe you, someone who cares. Heck, you've already found us.
If I could run with my buddy today and not look back would be my gift from God. Once again no hand to hold. Why can't I get what I want for once!
You know, I was pretty worried about something recently, and I heard just today from a good friend, "Remember, God is involved in this too." His point was that God can help, and will, if I'm not already set on what help I will accept. Maybe you don't get what you want because God knows of something better that you need.