Newest Members
Meyekell, Muyoso, kaa, bsm, davkli
13206 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
BeesHive (45), ggirl (32), silent bob (52)
Who's Online
3 registered (Ceremony, itsonlyme, GMan), 47 Guests and 7 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,206 Registered Members
75 Forums
68,418 Topics
476,075 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#469377 - 08/26/14 03:22 PM lawyer jokes
Nothing Man Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 1080
Loc: Ohio
A good lawyer knows the law.

A great lawyer knows the judge.



Q. What do you call a splinter in a lawyer's a**?

A. S*** on a stick.

Q. What do you call two splinters in a lawyer's a**?

A. A damned waste of wood.




When lawyers fall overboard at sea, why don't the sharks eat them?

Professional courtesy.


with apologies to all lawyers who might be reading this now.
_________________________
Suisse et libre
2015 WoR Hope Springs

Top
#469592 - 09/02/14 05:28 AM . [Re: Nothing Man]
ALovingMum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 51
.

Top
#469644 - 09/03/14 08:58 PM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1199
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
Old one......

Q. How do you know when a lawyer is lying?

A. His lips are moving.

;-)
_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

Top
#469679 - 09/04/14 10:42 AM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 205
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
I heard this one on the BBC:

Lawyers are like Hippos: thick skinned, short sighted and always ready to charge.

And this one is from the movie "Hook"

The NIH recently announced that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats for their lab experiments. Because:

In DC it's easier to find lawyers than rats
The lab assistants are less likely to get emotionally attached to lawyers than to little rats
and, there are some things even a rat won't do.
_________________________
Jay

Top
#469692 - 09/04/14 04:50 PM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
Nothing Man Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 1080
Loc: Ohio
What do you call a busload of lawyers going over a cliff?

A good start.
_________________________
Suisse et libre
2015 WoR Hope Springs

Top
#469732 - 09/05/14 11:27 AM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 205
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional Courtesy.
_________________________
Jay

Top
#469734 - 09/05/14 11:35 AM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
journey4two Offline


Registered: 08/26/14
Posts: 41
*belly laugh* Thanks!

Top
#469749 - 09/05/14 10:11 PM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
_________________________
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

Top
#469750 - 09/05/14 11:50 PM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 729
Loc: VA
There's no such thing as lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

John, Esq.

Top
#469839 - 09/08/14 10:34 PM Re: lawyer jokes [Re: Nothing Man]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 729
Loc: VA
It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour.

-- Thomas Jefferson

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.