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#468888 - 08/13/14 06:39 PM 10+ years
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3562
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
I fully intended to post this on the 7th - but sadly work interrupted that...

It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years since I first registered at this site. When I first came here it wasnt even called MS it was called NOMSRV (National Organization For Male Survivors of Sexual Violence).I remember well the sleepless nights spent in the chat room talking the ear off of whoever else was in there that also couldnt sleep. We helped each other through those nights - I learned that I really wasnt alone in what I thought was something that hardly ever happened to boys and couldnt ever be talked about. With a LOT of prodding from certain people who I owe my life too I really started to look back at my past and understand how NOT normal it really was. I even went to therapy - not because I wanted too - but because of the gentle and repeated nudging of others who I talked with who really seemed to care about my past. In time I even let myself be talked into going to a Weekend of Recovery (which scared me shitless at the time because I had it firmly in my mind that somehow the whole entire world would know (like there was going to be a photo on the front page of the local papers) that I was going and somehow shame me for my past) - that 1st WoR was amazing!!! To be able to look another directly in the face who "fully" understands - it's beyond priceless...

In time I became a Moderator here because I had to give back to a site that had given so much to me - it has been a true honor to try to help others along the path to recovery in whatever way I can

I even went on Oprah because I felt that the world needs to know that we are real people - we need real help - and we are not going to be silent any more - the world needs to understand that this is no small problem - no small percentage of guys - we need the same resources females have

About 7 years back I got married - something that 10+ years ago I had NEVER envisioned myself ever doing

Close to 3 years ago our daughter was born - a true miracle in so many ways

Yes - life has been extremely busy in the last many years - A recovered life is truly a full one... - I've no doubt that many here now don't even really know me and I apologize for that - I want others to know though that recovery can happen - you really can have a life in the future that you can't even begin to dream about right now - it can happen - it happened to me

I do really hope that I can be of help to many others in this site for a long long time...

My best wishes to all in their recovery journey,

TJ jeff
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#468889 - 08/13/14 07:40 PM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6384
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
there are not many of us ten year veterans.
a lot of members have moved on or quit posting.


#468893 - 08/13/14 08:52 PM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
unhappycamper Offline

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 753
Loc: VA
I'm just a 3-year veteran, but I appreciate you Senior Survivors who stick around! I'm sure the newbies do, too. Congrats!

#468895 - 08/13/14 09:23 PM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
Obi Offline

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1634
Loc: kansas
congrats on 10... i'm coming up on 5 years.
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

#468896 - 08/13/14 09:56 PM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
Bluedogone Offline

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 1089
Loc: Southern US
Congratulations on reaching the ten year milestone.
I've only been here a year, but a year ago realizing that I wasn't alone in all this crap was an awesome life changer for me.
I've had some false starts along the way, thinking everything's alright now, so I can just forget what happened so long ago in the past. But it doesn't work that way, you have to face it head on to begin to really heal. It's never too late to begin, even in my 70's, and realistically, demographics would indicate I may not reach the 10 year mark, but the last year has been so much better.

Good luck, best wishes as you begin work on the second 10 years
Whether you say, "i can't do this," or say, "I CAN DO THIS" You're Right.

#468902 - 08/13/14 11:49 PM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
randombreeze Offline

Registered: 02/04/14
Posts: 60
Loc: WNY
As a relative newcomer to this life affirming website, I'm compelled to chime in and thank the original poster for reminding us it can, and does get better. Having been fortunate enough to attend a WoR myself, I'll second TJ jeff's comment of it's being beyond priceless. From the incredibly brave and committed people I met, to the coping skills learned, the WoR has been a game changer moving forward.
"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky"- Rabindranath Tagore

#468912 - 08/14/14 03:06 AM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
kcinohio Offline

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 511
Loc: Ohio
Great share on your journey. Glad things have worked well in your recovery. Good to see someone with a longer term perspective on this site sharing that.

#468939 - 08/15/14 01:26 AM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1260
I haven't posted with any frequency lately, but I wanted to tell you congratulationsand thank you for some of the things you've said to me that have helped in ways you probably never imagined.

Your post is uplifting and just the thing I needed to read this evening. I wish you continued success and healing---and everyone else for that matter.

I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before


#469040 - 08/17/14 02:43 AM Re: 10+ years [Re: TJ jeff]
lapchinj Offline

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1481
Loc: New York
Hey ((((( Jeff )))))

like Will your post was just the thing I needed to read this evening. I stay in PM most of the time since I get a little freaked out talking about my stuff or listening to the horrible stories of others. Reading your post has given me a little more hope that recovery might just be possible in my lifetime.

I have read so many of your postings and I see much how they help me and others, so thanks for being here and taking the trouble to get involved.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
Stick around, It will get better....🌹🌹🌹

#469282 - 08/23/14 03:17 AM Re: 10+ years [Re: lapchinj]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Texas howdy, my fraternal brothers.

For this old boy of 75 i just celebrated my 6th year & 28th day anniversary in MS.

It's been a wonderful time in my life. I came here in deep despair, shame & guilt for that things that happened 60+ years earlier.

I have met some wonderful & courages(sp)? Boys now men. They opened up their hearts, minds & soul to this boy/man over these past 6 years.
A lot of them are no longer in MS but can be found on other sights. Names etched in my heart, mind, body & soul.

Over these past 6 years young Pete has taken me from the infinity of the heavens to the gates of hell & everywhere in between.
My fraternal brothers here gave me hope, when i had none. They have given me direction when i was just spinning in circles.
They guided me along as i tried to help them along too.

Above all they became a part of my family, in heart, mind, body & soul, my fraternal brothers.

I loved & cared for you all as i'm sure they have done for me.

I take this oppourtunity to thank you all for being here for me, as we continue on our journey in healing, arm in arm, heart to heart & shoulder to shoulder.

THANK YOU ALL. Wishing you all well in life & healing.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity."
As he is me.

Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

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