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#468239 - 07/30/14 06:58 PM silly clever science humour
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
So, a neutron walked into a bar and said "I'd like a beer, please."

After the bartender gave him one, he said "How much will that be?"

"For you?" said the bartender "No charge."
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#468240 - 07/30/14 06:59 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
Two atoms walk into a bar.

One says to the other, "Oh, no... I think I've lost an electron!"

"What... are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive!"
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#468241 - 07/30/14 07:00 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
The bartender replies, "Slow down, buddy. What's the rush?"

A Tachyon runs into a bar and says,
"There's no time. Gimme a beer, now! I need it yesterday."
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#468242 - 07/30/14 07:07 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
An electron walks into a bar.

The bartender asks him how he's doing.

The electron says, "Life sucks.
I lost my job.
My dog died.
My wife dumped me.
The kids ran away.
My watch stopped.
My wallet was stolen and my car was towed.
I just want to die."

To which the bartender replied, "You gotta stop being so negative."
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#468243 - 07/30/14 07:13 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
A Higgs-Boson walks into a catholic church.

The priest says "Sorry, due to scriptural restrictions on blasphemy and heresy,
we can't allow so-called 'God particles' in here."

The Higgs-Boson says "But without me you can't have mass."
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#468244 - 07/30/14 07:14 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
A neutrino walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Get out! We don't serve your kind here."

The neutrino says, "Don't mind me; I'm just passing through."
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#468245 - 07/30/14 07:15 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
Schrdinger's cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.
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#468247 - 07/30/14 07:16 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
A photon walks into a bar and says, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
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#468248 - 07/30/14 07:18 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
Helium walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What can I get you?"

Helium doesn't react.
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#468249 - 07/30/14 07:19 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
A parasite walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "You're not welcome here!"

The parasite says, "Well, you're not a very good host."
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#468250 - 07/30/14 07:20 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
Two bacteria walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Get out!"

One replies, "But we're staph."
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#468251 - 07/30/14 07:27 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
Dr.Heisenberg gets stopped by the police for speeding.

The cop says, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

The physicist answers, "No, but I know my location."
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#468353 - 08/01/14 08:45 PM Re: silly clever science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
the evolution of humour



the humour of evolution







the evolution of god


the creation of evolution


the evolution of creation
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#468549 - 08/05/14 02:32 PM Re: silly clever science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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#469066 - 08/17/14 04:04 PM Re: silly clever science humour [Re: victor-victim]
Nothing Man Offline
Member
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Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 1080
Loc: Ohio
A uranium atom walked into a reactor and realized he was in the wrong place.

"Time for me to split," he said.
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Suisse et libre
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#469098 - 08/18/14 08:06 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
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Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 808
Loc: Southern US
A black hole walks into a bar.

The black hole says to the bartender, "I want a beer for FREE, and I want it NOW! !"

The bartender says, "Forget it, you don't have any pull here"
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#469110 - 08/19/14 01:16 AM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: Bluedogone]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
This post previously existed in all possible states before you observed it.
Now it has collapsed into a single state.


I hope you're happy.
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#469111 - 08/19/14 01:23 AM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
Q: what happens to photons that violate the laws of physics?

A: they wind up in prism.
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#480078 - 03/31/15 07:14 PM Re: science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
a scientific riddle

Question. How is Halloween the same as Christmas?

Click to reveal.. ( Hint )
HEX 19 = BIN 11001


Click to reveal.. ( Answer )
OCT 31 = DEC 25

31 (octal base 8) = 25 (decimal base 10) = 11001 (binary base 2)

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#485186 - 07/08/15 04:26 AM Re: silly clever science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
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#485192 - 07/08/15 04:39 AM Re: silly clever science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada

math humour
curses! foiled again.
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#494601 - 01/26/16 11:15 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.

"No, I'm travelling light."
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#494621 - 01/26/16 11:50 PM Re: smart funny science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of humanity can understand this.
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#495588 - 02/20/16 01:59 AM Re: evilution [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
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#495622 - 02/20/16 05:27 PM Re: evilution [Re: victor-victim]
30something Offline
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Registered: 12/30/15
Posts: 127
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Funny!

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#497257 - 04/03/16 09:35 AM Re: silly clever science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
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#497258 - 04/03/16 09:37 AM Re: silly clever science humour [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6298
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