i finally got back to work after 3 car accidents within a two year period and overcoming several months of pain that kept me from walking proper...
then... on july 3-2014 a big heavy box of metal fell on my hand and cut and smashed the tip of my right index finger off!!

the doc sewed it back on and i am off work back in physiotherapy again.

i still have not gotten a penny from the car accidents yet, but the lawyer is close to a settlement now that i have recovered enough to work again, but now i am at the mercy of the worker's compensation insurance company.

i hate bureaucracy and expecially paperwork, and they sure expect me to fill out a lot of forms with a broken finger.
i am typing this with only 9 fingers and it is frustrating and weird.

the upside...
some time off with the family during the summer.
the downside...
no cash flow.

the real good news is that i am not depressed or angry.
i am actually quite amazed at my own ability to accept another attack,
and i am truly pleased at how quickly i am bouncing back.

i don't think i have ever been this emotionally and spiritually resilient.

there was a time, not to long ago, where i would have lamented these troubles, loudly, cursing and wailing against god and creation for all my misery and misfortune. an accident like this would have sent me into a trauma spiral of negative emotions that would last for months. dark deep depressions punctuated by violent outbursts of anger was the only response i had.

i must be making progress.

regarding the physical problem...
the finger is healing well, and the docs say i will be able to play guitar again.
i believe them.
they predict a return to work in about a month, but right now it hurts like hell as the damaged nerves and bone grow back.

still healing.

apparently i can only grow a couple of millimetres of nerves and bone per day.

going to physiotherapy 3 times a week.

still sore and swollen, but the 20 stitches the doctor put in the tip of my finger are out and the finger looks like a finger again.
ugly and damaged, but it is a finger.

when i remember what it looked like when i heard the crunch and saw the meat for the first time, i thought the finger was lost.

it looked like someone hit a hotdog with a hammer.
the fingernail was popped up like the hood of a car,
it was like someone left the lid off of the pink toothpaste and it was squeezed out all over the place.

the doc literally had to sew it back together.
piece by piece. shoving things in and cutting things off for 2 hours.
he even sewed the nail bed back on, and the nail is still intact.
i may actually keep the fingernail.

the bone inside the fingertip was "powdered" they told me.
so it has to regenerate like a lizard's tail.

the miracles of modern medicine!
the wonders of human healing!