Hi my name is Luke and this is my story. When I was ten years old a man name Tom entered my life. He seamed like any other person out there. He went to church and sang in the worship team. he was into outreach work as well. The thing is he wasn't who he said he was. He was a very sick man that had touched little boys in the past and I was one of his next targets. Like I said, Tom entered my live when I was ten. Over the next year of my life I began to get vary close to him. I look to him as a mentor since my father was not really in my life. When I was 11 years old things turned from good to bad. at the time I didn't understand that things were going to go bad because it felt ok. well to be anyway. We were wrestling on the floor like we had done a few time before. this time I when a little further. I touch is pants below the belt. he told be that I shouldn't do that but he really didn't try to stop me. we continued to wrestle and then I took his shoes off and hide them under my bed. he came in after me and closed the door. I went under my bed to get his should. he then reached down and touch my private area. At the time it felt good. I was only 11 and didn't know what was really going on. as the week when on the whole shoe thing worked. I even started to pull my pant down so that he could touch my penis. over the next few months him and I would touch each other on the couch or in my room. I remember he would tell me it felt good when I touched his penis. Tom them when away for half a year to do outreach work in other countries. when he got back we picked up were we left off. but it go more involved. I was 12 now and the abuse when from touching to having oral and anal sex. the first time he ever sucked me over is when a friend of the family was having a party in the park by my house. Tom was getting tired and he wanted to take a nap on my bed. so I when inside and cleared my bed off. he then laid down. we had this game where I would tell pretend to cut his head off so that he could tell me to stop touching him. I remember humping him and touching his privates. I then took my figer and put it in his mouth. then I did it again. then I told him to open his mouth and not to look. I then stuck my penis in his mouth and he sucked on it. but only for a second and told me to stop. I remember leaving him and going back to the park. over the next months we took part in having sex with one another. I remember one time it could of been the first time but I not sure any more. he fucked me. he when right into me and hit hurt. I remember look back and as he pulled out there was poop on is penis. My ass must of hart for days. I also reamer one time that I fucked him. he said it felt so good and I could tell he wanted me to keep going. Tom then left to go and to outreach work in another countries where he then abused about 10 boys. one told someone and his one sister hired someone to get him out of the country before they could arrest him. he didn't return back home to New Jersey right away. he stayed out west. when he did come home the abuse started again but he was not that into me now. I was 14. by October the abuse stopped. he was trying to get help and he told me that if I told anyone that he would not be able to support someone he did outreaches with. January of 2005 came around I told my school counselor what was going on. I told my mom that night and she called the police and I had to tell them what was going on. a month later I was hospitalize for being wanting to kill myself. by April of that year I went into a program to help me. I also saw a therapist. I was in the program for less then a year and contued with my therapist. Tom never took a plea deal and I had to testified in court what happened to me for age 11 to 14. three months later he given his max sentence by the judge. I then had to start my jr. year of high school and I when into another program to help me. I was only in it for a few months. I ended up not pasting my jr. year and trying to do a jr/sr year. I dropped out and got my ged. that when things in my life started to turn around. I was 19. I didn't plain on it but since my state converge dropped I when through a week long detox from all the meds I was put on. See when I was going through my recovery as a teen I was told that I had bipolar. so I was but on meds for that, then I had meds for my depression plus two sleep meds. when I was able to talk to my doctor after the detox I only went back on my meds for depression and my bipolar. after the detox I felt refreshed. I didn't feel so down. I started college that fall of 09. I went for two years and then dropped out and started my job I have had for the past three years. last year I went back to school part-time and I glad I did. My retail job that I have has made me grow into the man I am today. it talt me responsibly and how to make good decisions. Ten years later I am a total different person. I am openly gay and proud to be. I feel lucky that I didn't get any STI from tom. my life goal is to be an advocate for sexually about boys and to do it thru the arts.