So much of what you write rings true for me, and many others here as well.
I started therapy about 4 or 5 years back and have got over most of my big hurdles, but intimacy is still something I have trouble with, although I find that now that telling my wife either at the time ( very hard ) or after ( a bit easier ) of any 'trouble' I have when we make love does go a long way to helping me.
And you've made a brave step by telling her you were abused, and I'd bet big money that was the scariest thing you've ever done.
You've told her about coming here as well, and that's great, she will know you're serious about getting better by going to therapy and doing your 'homework' here.
Perhaps she has some questions as well ? the Family & Friends forum is a good place for partners, although some guys do feel easier about coming here privately. But it's a thought.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau