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#46757 - 06/29/03 04:06 AM Re: Starting over --Again
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
BT Mike Church again

You said:

I think SA is like a chronic disease our perps infected us with
It may seem like a chronic disease BT but that implies that it never goes away or loses control of you. Well I am glad to tell you that the fact of your abuse will always be there but your feelings, beliefs, fears and emotions around it will change over time and with a lot of work on your part. We are on quite a hike here but it is worth all the scrapes along the way. Life is for living and not merely passing through it. And you have a great wife to help you along. Remember you are no longer alone. We are all hear for each other.



#46758 - 06/29/03 10:13 PM Re: Starting over --Again
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
So much of what you write rings true for me, and many others here as well.

I started therapy about 4 or 5 years back and have got over most of my big hurdles, but intimacy is still something I have trouble with, although I find that now that telling my wife either at the time ( very hard ) or after ( a bit easier ) of any 'trouble' I have when we make love does go a long way to helping me.

And you've made a brave step by telling her you were abused, and I'd bet big money that was the scariest thing you've ever done.

You've told her about coming here as well, and that's great, she will know you're serious about getting better by going to therapy and doing your 'homework' here.
Perhaps she has some questions as well ? the Family & Friends forum is a good place for partners, although some guys do feel easier about coming here privately. But it's a thought.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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