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#466992 - 06/25/14 08:44 PM so tired from self talk
md4e Offline

Registered: 02/01/14
Posts: 56
I just wondered if it is just me or ,,,,,,, the tiredness that comes from all the talking I do to myself. Reassuring me that it's not all in my head.
yes I am blessed to have a wonderful family and marriage. No adultery, abuse etc...
but the loneliness of knowing the extent of dissociation, others not seeing that I am in quiet within my marriage that others see as perfect. I have so much, but the lack
of intimacy is such a source of pain. Others see his giving kind self. But he sees me as not vulnerable so im a trigger to dissociate. Decades of marriage. ..but feel alone.
It's not in my head ....right?

#467002 - 06/26/14 01:09 AM Re: so tired from self talk [Re: md4e]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 811
Loc: NJ
It is not in your head.

But what might be in your head is your willingness to accept certain things. Have you ever tried marriage therapy together?

#467024 - 06/26/14 04:11 PM Re: so tired from self talk [Re: md4e]
HD001 Offline

Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 276
Loc: us
Esposa is right. Its not in your head. It is exhauting and therapy can help. It can also help if you have a support like a close friend or family member that you can talk to. My parents have been married for over 30 years and I always thought they had a pretty easy marriage. It wasn't until I got married myself and opened up about my struggles with H that my parents enlightened me about how hard marraige is at times even when neither partner has been abused. It helped me separate the issues that we have because of csa and the issues we have because we are two separte people joined together in a union and it takes work. Everyone has struggles and sometimes just knowing you aren't alone in that can help.
Everything comes from within

#467137 - 07/01/14 09:01 PM Re: so tired from self talk [Re: md4e]
md4e Offline

Registered: 02/01/14
Posts: 56
I (not we) have a great therapist, that I've gone to for the past 15 yrs+. I make appointments I go, I have questions, i work the work. He comes times has been present...but mainly dissociates. He has gone to 3 different therapists. ..BUT doesn't do the work....then life gave us some severe challenges. ....I had always thought he would be there,,,,, but when push came to shove.....he went into himself...that damn dissociation. Now I'm at that cross road...retirement....have the money, have my family ("normal"), he joins me in outings I plan, I set in motion. I enjoy. BUT BUT I do it alone, with him. Only partners here would understand. .the together but alone senario. The pain is so great. ....the pain only I/we understand. Tomorrow a therapist appointment. Maybe I can get that energy to continue. ...


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