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#466939 - 06/24/14 06:33 AM It Died
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
MY ex-wife's divorce atty died a horrid death from pancreatic cancer and then other cancers that engulfed her body!

Let me point out what she did:

She Had me booted from my house by sending in sheriffs with tazers out. They had to sneak-up on me while in the shower. She promised them that I would put up a gunfight. They were so excited at that prospect.

She lied to the court that I was abusive to wife and children by virtue of my CSA history.

She told an ex-parte hearing that I was dangerous by virtue of CSA.

...that I was insane, depressed, dangerous, unpredictable, etc, via CSA effects.

She stole my Healing Journal and published it with distribution to everyone involved in the case in any way. The judge allowed it.

She tried to ship my kids out to MN with my ex. She argued that I was a danger to them.

I demanded a psychologist review to clear me. I spent $25,000 on 6-months worth of a Court-Appointed psychologist who saw me, the kids and me many times.

She had the court throw-out the VERY Still-favorable report from the Psych. The report cleared me and condemned the behaviour of the court, the attorney and the wife. The judge agreed and threw out the report.

For a full year, I could not see my kids without court approved supervision. Sounds minor doesn't it? It was traumatic for all. And cost $25,000 over that year.

She pulled my T's records on me....every note from every meeting. She exploited all vulnerabilities therein.

She pulled my MD's records on me....every medical review...every illness...every PTSD angle he examined.

She pulled hospital records and exploited my two stints in the Mental Ward for suicidal stuff.

And it goes on and on like this.

We could have had a $210 divorce and not scared my kids and left everyone destitute.

Karma came home in May, 2014. She died a horrible, pain-filled death. Writhing in torturous, twistings of the blackest misery!


Edited by Still (06/24/14 06:34 AM)

#466943 - 06/24/14 03:34 PM Re: It Died [Re: Still]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Justice is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.

#466944 - 06/24/14 05:19 PM Re: It Died [Re: Still]
HD001 Offline

Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 276
Loc: us
Wow still what a nightmare. I feel bad for your kids. Obviously I don't know your wife at all but it sounds like she is terrified of you. From your post I'm gathering that a lot of her and her lawyers paranoria were unfounded. If that is the case then I'm truly sorry that you had to go through all of this. I hope that you continue with your healing despite all that you've been through with your divorce.
An interesting thing I've read about cancer is the emotional connection theory. Perhaps you've heard it as well. The theory says that holding on to bitter emotions makes us more prone to developing cancer or other chronic illnesses as we age. Now I'm not saying that every person who gets cancer is a mean angry person but I think it is an interesting idea. I know a lot of people who are emtionally constipated and also struggle with chronic illnesses. I noticed that last year when I wasn't moving forward and held so much anger and resentment towards H I started having some strange health problems. This probably isn't helpful but your post made me think of it.
Everything comes from within

#466945 - 06/24/14 05:35 PM Re: It Died [Re: HD001]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
More fuel for the fire:

My grandfather sexually abused me when I was 4. I can say from circumstantial observations that he abused my father and siblings. He became isolated in his own home. His son refused to write him any letters. He became very socially withdrawn, he lost his job before retirement years. He acquired atelectasis (advanced lung inflammation and destruction of tissue) from smoking. So he died a tragic and painful death. atelectasis results in a slow form of asphyxiation. I feel truly sorry for the guy.


#466957 - 06/25/14 01:15 AM Re: It Died [Re: Still]
I Want 2 Thrive Offline

Registered: 04/04/14
Posts: 110
Loc: Florida, U.S.A

As a child of a nasty divorce, I feel for you and your kids. It sucks when one parent is less mature than the child they seek custody over. Hang in there. Even when I was separated from my Mom (for a time) she knew I loved her, as much as I knew she loved me.

My sexual abuser/pimp died of self inflicted lead poisoning. I have no pity or tears for Thomas. My friends from across the pond have a phrase I love, "Wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire!" His boys and the other subjects under his control, (sorry hate the V word), I have cried for them a lot, as I have on occasion learned some of their fates.

As for my step-monster who emotionally and physically abused me. I am sorry she is suffering this late in life. Mostly I feel sorry for my dad.

I believe we (humans) reap what we sow, in time. Dickens described it best via the character Jacob Marley: "I wear the chain I forged in life! I made it link by link and yard by yard! I gartered it on of my own free will and by my own free will, I wore it!"

Maybe that is overly simple of me, but it gets me through the night.


#467001 - 06/26/14 05:06 AM Re: It Died [Re: Still]
tbkkfile Offline

Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 393
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Hi Still

Hang in there my friend, the wheel turns, my daughter has come to realise now that she's older and out of the influence of my ex wife that her Dad isn't such a bad guy

I learnt from my sister last week that one of my perps died alone, pushed out by his family, an alcoholic, if I'd had known I'd have driven the Karma bus round to his and dropped off a crate of something strong as a leaving present

#467010 - 06/26/14 12:58 PM Re: It Died [Re: Still]
sorryson Offline

Registered: 05/31/14
Posts: 592
Hello Still I was one of those childen caught in a long drawn out battle. My Mama was a lackey to her family. Mama was always called to take care of everyone and we were the only family that lived thousand of miles away. The five other sisters and brothers all lived nearby grandma and grandpa. They expected Mama to leave us and she did when they called. They had a more normal life and always believed misery loved company. This was a major problem in Mama and Dad's marriage. Mama would came home tired and sad. Dad was trying his best and Mama made fun of everything he did. It was like when we visited Mama's family, Dad would leave the room because all the sisters and brothers would make fun of everyone in the neighborhood. Everyone was stupid, foolish or the families were crazy. I now know and I am sorry it took 50 some odd years to realize, Mama family was the crazy dysfunctional family. She pushed Dad away and pushed us away and then pulled us back with guilt and threat she would leave again. When the divorce came Mama shared everything Dad wrote or said. She made sure we were involved in the divorce but what he said I now know was true. Poor Dad suffered at Mama's words and her families words. We were sucked into their sick world.

Still one day your children will realize you are a good guy. I have one brother who is still under Mom's thumb and she continues almost thirty years later to feed him the same crap. I worry he will never grow up. Tbkkfile is right your children need to get out of the influence of your ex wife. I am wishing your children realize what they are missing by cutting you out of their lives sooner rather than later. I know I missed out of being in the life of someone who loved me unconditionally and did not guilt me into loving him. I now know he never expected a birthday card, a father's day card, in the end all he wanted was us to be happy and active and not sleeping our lives away. And yes we did this for years because Mama did. We were like her puppets, Mama and Mama's brothers and sisters do so we do. Your children will cut the strings one day.

#467018 - 06/26/14 03:45 PM Re: It Died [Re: Still]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 382
No offense to your ex but I find the lawyers actions despicable AND I find it despicable that anyone would pay for her to do it on their behalf.

#467198 - 07/03/14 02:43 PM Re: It Died [Re: Still]
On The Fringe Offline

Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
I hope you find release. Release from the pain of the injury and release from any lingering bitterness that may poison your soul.
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.


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