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#464866 - 05/01/14 05:38 PM A reintroduction
Regs Offline

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 153
Loc: Oklahoma

Edited by Regs (08/02/17 10:20 PM)
WoR Sequoia Alumni, April 2010

#464878 - 05/02/14 01:46 AM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3790

Your post is powerful. You have grown and live the life how all survivors should live--without shame.

Clearly there are many effects of being introduced to sex at a young age despite the age of who was introducing. It is not natural nor can a child comprehend, understand or process what the sex act has done to them. As you have said the effects are disturbing, astounding (and this one I do not understand), disturbing and hopeful (this one eluded me until I healed). The wounds for some are overcome and for others are not insurmountable--rather destructive and fatal for some, others struggle through life. Each victim processes the abuse differently as does the mind. Victims cope in many different ways-dissociation, fugues, compulsions, addictions, and others can rebound and demonstrate resiliency but I believe the pain of the trauma never leaves any victim.

I am very happy you have found peace and are living life with hope, honesty and without shame. That is what every victim wants and deserves. Thank you for sharing and from what you lived, you are truly a survivor.


#464888 - 05/02/14 10:24 AM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Regs
Today, I have mitigated the worst of the effects of the childhood trauma that warped my view of the world and how I interacted with that world. I live hopefully, honestly, and without shame.

You've set a high mark for us all to aspire to. May we all come to live "hopefully, honestly, and without shame". Amen.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#464896 - 05/02/14 02:17 PM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1288

I love posts like this. Congratulations on making progress against this thing. Whether it was an incremental climb, or a bold leap, I applaud you for taking the reins from the past.

I was the focus (object) of abuse at age thirteen. The abuse and occasional bout of violence was perpetrated by a summer camp counselor who was just nineteen himself. Though I was fortunate enough to get away from him at the end of that summer, I too carried what I called, "guilt, shame(loathing), and rage" over what happened and how my body betrayed me. The feelings waxed and waned as if coordinated by an unseen celestial cycle. Also like you, I kept the secret to myself for over two decades before finally disclosing it to others. I spent a considerable amount of energy keeping the hellhound at bay even as I was outwardly "normal" to others. The burden became too much to bear alone in the media frenzy surrounding the Boy Scouts and Penn State and I at last shrugged under the weight.

The episode at camp stunted my social development with girls. For years I felt betrayed by my body and its reaction to his attention. Even though I hadn't seen the counselor since 1985, I didn't break that bond with him until very recently. His dark hand was always on my shoulder, pulling me back, thwarting my full potential. At long last I can say without hesitation, that the effects of the CSA are largely attenuated. I congratulate you on doing the same and offer hope to everyone else going forward.

I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before

#464990 - 05/06/14 01:25 AM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]
learning2luvme Offline

Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 50
Wow....I really appreciate the amount of thought that people here often take to post about their experiences. For many of us it feels like reading pages of information that we could have written or said if we had the strength to write it down.

It's so awesome to see people moving forward and basking in the light of acceptance without the shadow of shame.


#465023 - 05/06/14 08:32 PM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]
Regs Offline

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 153
Loc: Oklahoma
Thanks guys. MS was key in helping me to learn that I was not alone in this journey.
WoR Sequoia Alumni, April 2010

#465024 - 05/06/14 09:29 PM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]
Castle Offline

Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 758
While I don't know about "true peace", I do know it gets better.

Quite the difference between your two introductions, eh?

You never have to be alone, again.

#465033 - 05/07/14 01:02 AM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]
oriolesguy Offline

Registered: 08/13/08
Posts: 124
Loc: Long Island, NY
Bravo to you, my good friend. We corresponded long ago, and I am truly glad to see the change in you. While nothing ever totally erases what happened to us, your sense of being able to deal with it - openly and honestly - in such a way that it no longer poses a threat to you, is inspiring.

Rock on.


#465073 - 05/08/14 04:09 AM Re: A reintroduction [Re: Regs]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
welcome to our on-line community.

your introduction is very powerfully written, and i was very moved.
but one thing you said, jumped right off the screen...

the resiliency of the human spirit
can navigate amazing obstacles

i am glad you are living hopefully, honestly, and without shame.
that, too, is my preferred lifestyle.



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