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#463888 - 04/09/14 03:21 PM I reap what you sow (**triggers**)...
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2742
You just shoveled your way in. It was a dark, deep and whispered effort. Don't tense up. Just relax and let me in... I yielded. So many times. Your garden was us kids, and you were such a busy planter. Did you ever count on the harvest? Neither did I.

That seed took root. It grew in my heart and in my brain for years before I recognized it. I tried to ignore it, but the tendrils grew inside me, prying apart my integrity. I tried to hack it away, it just grew back stronger and thicker. Did you ever anticipate the thicket of thorns that would grow from what you planted? I suppose neither of us did at the time.

But, gee, you should see this. You really should.

So I picked some of that harvest. For you. Don't worry - there is plenty. I won't run out any time soon. It just keeps growing. So dark and thorny and thick. So painful to hold.

And so when I come knocking, don't close your door to me. I certainly couldn't close my door to you.

.....Just relax and let me in.

.........Be brave. Like I was.

.............Look me in the eyes if you dare. I won't blink.

.................And see what you planted.

#463890 - 04/09/14 04:39 PM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Wow! Amazing! Gives me cold chills

#463902 - 04/09/14 08:24 PM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4198
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
the title says it all -
and then goes on from there.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#463907 - 04/09/14 09:05 PM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2742
Thanks Puffer, Lee -

It was in my head when I awoke, so I just spilled it out here. I am about to confront my abuser next week (my third confrontation with him) and this is my pep talk to myself.

#463935 - 04/10/14 03:48 PM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
I Want 2 Thrive Offline

Registered: 04/04/14
Posts: 110
Loc: Florida, U.S.A
WOW! Just wow. I am so impressed with you Eirik.

Even if my attacker was still alive, I cannot imagine confronting Thomas without physical violence involved, or a LEO between us.

I hope someday I can release the hate I still have for him (Yes, I know the only one it hurts is me). Someday the 16" between my head and heart will be bridged.

I also clicked your pic and read your story, you ARE a hero.

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind" C.S. Lewis

#464575 - 04/26/14 12:12 AM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2742
The confrontation happened shorty after I wrote this poem. It was actually the third, the first two being last year. He is locked in psychiatric confinement, so these are not easy to arrange. Next meeting is this weekend. I'll report back here if anyone is interested. At some point I feel I need to explain myself, and I apologize for playing this so close to the vest. I guess I'm superstitious, because each meeting takes tremendous motivation for me to "step into the arena," and I've been afraid that talking about it would take some of that energy away. But there are good things that come from it, and I am looking forward to sharing them.

#464617 - 04/26/14 11:57 PM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
GoodSamaritan Offline

Registered: 12/10/13
Posts: 12
Loc: Kentucky
Eirik -
I am very interested in hearing how your meeting went with your perpetrator. You are doing an admirable thing when you confront him.

Tom R.

#464624 - 04/27/14 01:51 AM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
Frustrated Offline

Registered: 10/29/13
Posts: 201
That is deep shit the sad thing is I can tag each word with a feeling of what happened to me
I will never be safe I will never be sain I will always be weird inside I will always be lame

#465431 - 05/17/14 05:24 PM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
sadclown Offline

Registered: 02/27/14
Posts: 59
It is rare that poetry can remind me why it is indeed an art, but this hit the nerve, man. That last line was nothing short of chilling- an expert use of metaphor. Definitely some of the best prose I have read in a while.
My Story

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed"- Ernest Hemingway

#465461 - 05/18/14 06:52 PM Re: I reap what you sow (**triggers**)... [Re: Chase Eric]
nltsaved Offline

Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 933
Loc: Kc,Mo
Pure Awesomeness you have real talent
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus

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