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#464470 - 04/23/14 09:52 PM Introduction
SilentNoLonger Offline

Registered: 04/23/14
Posts: 12
Loc: Canada
Not sure where/how to start, but here goes: I was sexually abused around the age of eight and it continued for about three or four years (I have a hard time recalling the exact time frame as I put a lot of energy into blocking out the memories). My abuser was another boy around the same age, so for the longest time I didn't even know it was abuse or know to associate any of his actions or his words as abuse. But there was always this feeling inside that what happened to me was wrong. It's been hard to fight that fear of judgment, the fear that no one will believe me or that what happened to me wasn't a big deal or that all of the emotional pain I've been through was all made up over nothing. I spent the last 15 years living in fear, guilt, shame, and isolation, but I don't want to keep living like that.
I was fortunate enough to find an amazing counselor, who I've been seeing for the last three years, who has helped me on my journey to recovery. I joined this site to get that extra support from other survivors and hopefully one day be able to help others in their journey to recovery as well.
I'm still scared and nervous about talking fully about my experience, but it feels good taking this first step. Hope I haven't rambled.

#464474 - 04/23/14 11:14 PM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
newground Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 1155
Loc: michigan
hey bud
looks like you started well congratulations! you will find a wealth of information here as well as others stories that can help you to see the effects of abuse are amazingly similar. what happened WAS a big deal no matter what the ages were not matter how it happened. I am glad that you have come to trust us with your story
heal well man
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

#464475 - 04/23/14 11:33 PM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
I Want 2 Thrive Offline

Registered: 04/04/14
Posts: 110
Loc: Florida, U.S.A

You are not alone.

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind" C.S. Lewis

#464477 - 04/24/14 12:33 AM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
kcinohio Offline

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 512
Loc: Ohio
Thanks for your introduction. Hope you find MS helpful in your continued progress. Glad you were able to find a good counselor for this. My experiences with that were helpful overall, but mixed along the way.

#464499 - 04/24/14 04:25 PM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
pittsburgh Offline

Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 105
Loc: west Chester, Pa
congratulations on your journey. Just being here shows progress. You will find the emotions you spoke of are common. I know they were for me. For many years I thought I was the only one who went thru this, boy was I wrong. It was also something I had a hard time coming to understand that there so many men that had gone much the same thing. I wish you well in your journey. There is a better place.
it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.

#464503 - 04/24/14 04:52 PM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
Adam A Gedman Offline

Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Canada
Hello SNL,

I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad for you to have found us here MS.

I too was abused around 8 years old (also my best guess). A lot of denial, blocking out etc., but now working on putting the puzzle pieces together.

Don't under estimate yourself, with a few years of therapy under your belt, you likely do have something to offer.

Whether it be an ear to listen, supportive words, or just knowing you're part of a community of those who truly understand, that to me is what MS and the participants here are all about.

Congratulations on taking the brave step out of the shadows and into the light.

Take care, and keep well.
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

#464512 - 04/24/14 07:44 PM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
CafeMan Offline

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 169
Loc: Chicago
Welcome to the site and on your continued road to heal. I'm sure you will do great things in your life and make some mistakes. Regardless, realize that you are in control and will have a great time redefining your life from this day forward. All my best to you!


#464513 - 04/24/14 09:11 PM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4287
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
SNL - some of my abusers were also boys of the same age and just slightly older. i know from experience that abuse of this type is often not taken seriously by others who are uninformed about the true nature of abuse. too often it is minimized or rationalized or discounted. i am glad you have come here. you will be believed and respected and receive empathy and understanding, as i have. i hope you soon feel at home and comfortable enough to trust us with more of your thoughts, feelings, and story. please don't hesitate to speak up. you are among friends. PM me if you feel like it.
wishing you well,
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#464732 - 04/29/14 02:00 AM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]
SilentNoLonger Offline

Registered: 04/23/14
Posts: 12
Loc: Canada
Thank you all for your support and welcome, it has really eased my feelings and fears I've had with sharing my experience. It makes a world of difference to have acknowledgment and not feel alone. It's sad that we are all here because of abuse, but it really makes a difference that this community is here to support and listen. It definitely makes me feel a lot more comfortable about sharing my experience (which is a really big deal for me as I've always been shy and the abuse just made me more introverted and quiet). I apologize for taking a while to respond, I just like to take my time with what I write and tend to over analyze what I'm writing and what not (tied into my confidence and shyness I suppose).

#464733 - 04/29/14 02:18 AM Re: Introduction [Re: SilentNoLonger]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3856
Silent No Longer

Your name tells who you are. Silence leads to our shame and guilt. I am glad you have found a wonderful T who has helped you through difficult times. Facing the past is not easy. I have found MS and my other support groups to be so helpful in my journey to heal. To read and hear others stories, to feel their compassion and understanding of what you experience will help to validate you--it was not your fault and your life should be one you deserve.

I am sorry you or anyone or for that matter a site like this needs to exist, but this is not reality. Please continue to share, read and heal. I am happy you found us, because we are a group who does not judge but understand what many do not. My T is happy I have support groups that can understand the pain, he said he understands what we live but can never feel the pain we live.

Keep going and keep healing.


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