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#464380 - 04/22/14 08:53 AM Re: What is Health? [Re: SubtleStuff]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2708
Loc: durham, north england
Hi Gaat.

I think myself that this mysterious communication is more common than not, or at least I tend to see it among any reasonable people I encounter. True there are many unreasonable people around, but I try to avoid those if I can.

regarding women, i disagree. Women don't have to attract a mate because the man does all the work, plane and simple, usual female dress and back appearance will do and as for children well it's quite up to a woman whether to have them or not and increasingly these days I'm meeting women who choose not to, but can still atain that stage of communication with someone.

The only major problem I see for women is as you said ending up tied to an unreasonable partner, but heck given how easy it is for women to change men, any woman with a degree of psychological fortitiude will just exchange that unreasonable partner for a reasonable one.

Just ask yourself how many single women aged 30 have never had a relationship ever! or don't have the choice. Frankly I hate this sexist crap in society and I can't help feeling jealous about it.

Of course much of this goes back to my abuse, sinse frankly I was taught that women had the right to perform s/xual torture and ridicule and all I could do was sit there and take it, sinse if I retaliated, well it was wrong to hit girls, however I don't really see a way of fixing this without a positive experience of all that I was taught was negative, and that positive experience seems impossible to atain.

Again I end up in the same circle I've been in for a long while.

I probably ought to forget ms and recovery.

Regarding suicide well that's not been my experience. I very much considddered suicide throughout my abuse, indeed it shocks me that the principle reason I didn't was simply that I could not find an efficient method to do so, (I nearly chucked myself off an 80 foot cliff at one point but believed it wasn't quite high enough).

For me however suicide was always something cold, rational and profoundly disconnected from life.

I knew the situation I was in was not one I wished to continue for all I considdered it perfectly normal, there was no way of stopping it so suicide was a rational and completely cold decision, there was little emotional or based on desire about it at all.

I am no longer in that circumstance so can recognize that however bad things get suicide would not be a rational choice at this point in time sinse there are still things in my life I do take pleasure in and my life is worth continuing irrispective of everything else.

I am sorry if my bitterness got too much, as I said I seem at a complete empass with this and I am thinking once again that coming back here was oncemore a mistake as fundamentally more speculation or inner reflection will do no good for me. at this point

#464422 - 04/22/14 07:36 PM Re: What is Health? [Re: dark empathy]
SubtleStuff Offline

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 418
Loc: North America
Hi Dark Empathy,

Originally Posted By: dark empathy
Frankly I hate this sexist crap in society and I can't help feeling jealous about it.

Yes, I hate it too. It cripples us and leaves us vulnerable to the crap that women can toss our way with relative impunity. We are supposed to be "tough" and I suppose if our role in life is to become war heroes and die, then that works. I have other plans for my life.

I read a really interesting book a while back on the topic of being stuck in one of the gender roles. It's dated but gave me a huge amount of insight into my mother around the time of my birth: "The Feminine Mystique" by Betty Friedan. Maybe now's the time for someone to write: "The Masculine Mystique"!

Originally Posted By: dark empathy
I am sorry if my bitterness got too much.

No, it didn't get too much. I just wish I had something better to offer you. It must be very hard to feel so stuck. I've felt very stuck at times too and the frustration in me has been intense. I hope you find a way out soon. If there is something I can do to help, please let me know.



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