I think the longing for family is very strong even when the family continues to abuse us verbally/emotionally. I have had almost no contact with my family for many years, partly that was their choice to side with the abuser father and partly my need to protect myself from their denial and blame. I still miss them and think about them often.
It seems terrible to me that your family can still blame you for stuff that happened when you were a child. An 11 to 13 year old is a small child, just because you were given money by abusers does not make it any less child abuse. None of this is in any way your fault and it is completely untrue and terribly unfair for anyone in your family to blame you for any of it. I guess it is their denial and inability to face how terrible things were in your family that makes them blind to the facts. I know about being given the message that I am the problem in the family because I have said what is true for me.
Its a cliche, but we cannot change others we can only change how we deal with them. If they keep blaming you which seems to me crazy thinking, that makes it harder for you to recover and really get it that none of this was your fault. You can decide to choose those who are safest and limit the amount of time you spend with members of your family. Some people decide not to see family for some time and some people choose to cut them off altogether because contact with them is causing further damage. It is for you to choose, it is very difficult territory and I don't have any advice, in my case I have some friends and a partner whom I see as my family now. I can only recommend that you have a good therapist to help you deal with this difficult stuff.
Good Luck and take care.
P.S The chances are that you would have gotten more feedback in the 'male survivors forum'.
Partially there's a bit of a problem there too for me. I have family of my own technically. I have a daughter. I don't want them to say anything to her when she gets older. I have enough to explain. I have a girlfriend and I'm not letting her ever meet them for fear they'll tell her a whole bunch of things incorrectly skewed basically lies I've done it before and it didn't go well.
I feel though like I do see that this is an unhealthy relationship. But they're basically the only family of my own. So I try to make it hurt but in the end it just hurts me.
I think my brothers don't want to blame my parents. My mom doesn't want to see the truth because she always blames my dad for getting her hooked on drugs. And in plus to them I guess they felt I could have continued to steal and beg to make ends meet. I didn't feel it was enough. They saw and see things differently.