I am sorry for your reason to be here, but hopeful for you now that you have arrived at MS.
I don't propose to suggest that we have all the answers, or that we can provide a means to heal outside of traditional therapy, but the acceptance, understanding, support and empathy from fellow survivors has for me, been a catalyst that has contributed greatly in my healing journey, I hope this too can be true for you.
As others have mentioned, the guilt, shame, SSA, and any other number of negative self assessments are all too common. I see them as a way our minds try to assume control over something we had no control over. It is a defense mechanism, as I see it, and is not at all helpful in terms of recovery.
If I can suggest nothing more, the blame belongs with the abuser, not with you. Accepting this will go along way to forgiving yourself.
Although I heard it on Oprah, the sentiment represents a truth as I see it, "we need to give up the hope that the past could have been any different".
I haven't read the book suggestion from Dave, although I will add that one to my list, I would suggest "victims no longer" by mike lew and "joining forces" by dr howard Fradkin. Victims no longer was more of an eye opener for me, where as joining forces has plenty of practical exercises meant to assist in working through the dysfunction we are left with.
Welcome, I am glad you have arrived, take care.
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.
Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)
But you can call me Kevin
Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014