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#462939 - 03/21/14 06:14 PM Rant about media language****triggers
mmfan Offline

Registered: 09/25/11
Posts: 115
Twice this week I read articles on a major news site whose wording rubbed me the wrong way. One discussed the conviction of a 21 year old woman who "forcibly had sex with" an 8 year old boy. The other was a 16 year old girl who was "held down and forced to have sex with" a 19 year old man.

Now is it just me or isn't the word RAPE? Is that word not used anymore? Is it too ugly, too uncomfortable? Too much realism for people as they drink their morning coffee?
The word have sex "WITH" is just plain innacurate in my book. It implies a shared activity. One plays tennis with someone. A consenting adult has sex with another consenting adult. I find this language in this context offensive and minimizing. Maybe I am too sensitive.

#462941 - 03/21/14 07:00 PM Re: Rant about media language****triggers [Re: mmfan]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
Ditto! I agree with you. Rape is rape is rape.

Edited by ThisMan (03/21/14 07:00 PM)
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#462954 - 03/21/14 09:42 PM Re: Rant about media language****triggers [Re: mmfan]
On The Fringe Offline

Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
Men can't be raped by women, according to the media. It has never happened.

I don't remember ever reading it. I get the feeling the media has the idea a male wants sex at any age if given by a female.
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

#462962 - 03/22/14 01:25 AM Re: Rant about media language****triggers [Re: mmfan]
sadclown Offline

Registered: 02/27/14
Posts: 59
Hey according to the military, men can't get raped. Under teh UCMJ, a male can only be "forcibly sodomized". Because, if your commander doesn't cover it up to keep his OER looking good, males aren't allowed to be raped. It would be unseemly. Am I the only one beyond fucking tired of this goddamn society?
My Story

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed"- Ernest Hemingway

#462973 - 03/22/14 02:49 PM Re: Rant about media language****triggers [Re: mmfan]
WriterKeith Offline

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 980
Thanks you, mmfan, for pointing this out. It is important.

Malesurivor Director, Chris Anderson, often speaks about the language. In addition to pointing out that "rape" is not "having sex," Chris encourages us to phase out the word "pedophile" because its literal translation is, "lover of children." It derives from an antiquated notion that these things are not discussed in public, so it was soft-pedaled to merely infer what it is: "rape of a child."

My father did not "make love"to or "have sex with" or "have intimate relations" with me and my sister: he assaulted us, he molested us, he raped us.

#462998 - 03/23/14 03:54 AM Re: Rant about media language****triggers [Re: mmfan]
JayBro Offline

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 325
Hey everyone, this is a really interesting and indeed infuriating topic. I feel like I could write a journal article or essay about it.

You absolutely bring up a good point about words being used to replace "rape." Another phrase that I read often is "sexually assaulted" which could mean a number of things. This lingual politic has even affected me and how I speak and write of my abusive experiences. Often when I am giving someone a matter of fact run-down of my abuse, I hesitate or use several different words to describe the two times that I was raped during university. It usually transpires like this: "...and twice I was sexually assaulted- or raped- or whatever you want to call it..." I struggle with the terminology. The media has made me feel that the truth- the rape- is too harsh, too rude and that I must protect my audience from feeling uncomfortable. However, then I must realize that the subject matter itself can never be something cozy and light-hearted. Like the gravity and repulsiveness of the words themselves, so too were the actions; we struggle around how we discuss the topic much like how we struggle around actually acknowledging it. The euphemisms and inaccurate wording is no different than Western society's own tradition of ignoring these crimes and not giving them the attention they deserve, either because of how difficult said crimes are to accept or for the apathy in those who do not understand how serious these crimes are (namely when the victims are men and/or the perpetrators are women).

English-language media's lack of direct wording for rape also stems from a wider discourse of sexual violence which is quite ill-informed, such as one that victim blames or downplays the consequences from different forms of abuse. This sterilization of rape and sexual violence has more cons than pros. Who is it benefitting? The reader who doesn't want to encounter "harsh" language?
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

#463727 - 04/06/14 09:42 AM Re: Rant about media language****triggers [Re: mmfan]
I Want 2 Thrive Offline

Registered: 04/04/14
Posts: 110
Loc: Florida, U.S.A
Nope, you're not the only one! I was chastised twice for calling it rape on the radio. My station manager told me just read the news is it's written, follow the copy. I stopped reading news.

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind" C.S. Lewis


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