My father is a retired marine (not an officer) and a southern baptist preacher. I did an eighteen day personal growth retreat about 20 years ago where rebirthing and time line regression back to in utero were the main elements of the retreat. We reworked up to age 12. This was the beginning of me waking up.
I was 53 before remembering sexual abuse from my father, and 63 before remembering sexual abuse, physical abuse and torture from my mother. Soon to be 65, it is only in the past few months I am satisfied with my process. It has taken nearly 65 years for me to sufficiently move out of "other" (hmmm...similar to mother isn't it) dependent to begin finding a me as my reference point. The cultural context you and FB talk of regarding your mothers is the same for mine. Sounds like your mothers may have had a bit more personal resources to work with than mine.
I'm enjoying following this topic. It is bringing some fresh air into my own inner places, and I find myself taking some more relaxing breaths on many levels. Though I am gay, that feels a very superficial difference in this context. My mother's deep resentment of having to care for children with a husband frequently away in the military was a very damaging and crazy-making situation for me. I am finally making headway in teasing the damaged infant and toddler away from the aggressive dependent addiction to my mother's energy and breathe some safety and nurturing from myself into the mix.
Thanks for the opportunity to express this in a context where it feels like I may be seen by others.
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards