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#461772 - 03/01/14 02:46 AM Re: Your Mother's Abuse? *Triggers* [Re: concerned_husky]
focusedbody Offline

Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 542
Loc: NY

Absolutely. You've got the space.

What you are saying is a good description of the fragility in which a lot of this work seems to reside. I've often wondered what that is about, but when I consider how early in life a child's needs must be met, it is not out of the realm of possibility to feel them later in life.

I think your awareness of the delicate nature of separating consciousness of yourself from others is accurate. I had to work pretty hard at it for a few years before making the kind of distinctions I'm able to make now. With that awareness also comes a sensitivity that can seem burdensome at first, but which ultimately allows me to process a lot more of the pain I carry around.

I think whatever helps distinguish oneself from others is worthwhile, even if it is as slow and demanding as you have described. When I feel myself fully, it is a great gift. Although along with that can come real feelings of fear, they can also become signs that I'm just beginning to understand what it means to trust someone else.

I hope you are patient with yourself and allow whatever you need to emerge, even if just for a while so you can get used to it.


Lose the drama; life is a poem.

#461835 - 03/02/14 02:36 AM Re: Your Mother's Abuse? *Triggers* [Re: concerned_husky]
peacemaker67 Offline

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 45
Loc: WI
Sorry I haven't been around for you my friend.
I have been thinking about you. I won't use the I've been too busy line...that isn't fair.
Send me a PM if you want. I will check in.

Here for you...
-Love is love when it is free; love is love when others don't feed on you as a "need". If we reach one person with betterment, and in turn that one reaches another, what power we have to change the world."

#462229 - 03/08/14 07:31 PM Re: Your Mother's Abuse? *Triggers* [Re: concerned_husky]
SubtleStuff Offline

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 418
Loc: North America
Thanks guys,

This seems to be resolving quite well for me. When I get clearer on what my path to healing involves, and take what the women offer as possibilities to research (and make mine or not depending on how the research goes) then it seems to be less difficult. I still feel the pull to take on their stress but am more aware of it and less likely to succumb to it.



#462704 - 03/16/14 05:48 AM Re: Your Mother's Abuse? *Triggers* [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline

Registered: 08/30/12
Posts: 766

Edited by concerned_husky (08/30/15 10:49 AM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.

"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Pasternak

#462754 - 03/17/14 05:44 PM Re: Your Mother's Abuse? *Triggers* [Re: concerned_husky]
SubtleStuff Offline

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 418
Loc: North America
Hi Husky,

I'm looking forward to hearing about what you discover in yourself too!



#462804 - 03/18/14 01:52 PM Re: Your Mother's Abuse? *Triggers* [Re: SubtleStuff]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I intend to contribute to this discussion but I need a larger block of time than I have right now. Probably this evening.


#464129 - 04/15/14 11:02 PM Re: Your Mother's Abuse? *Triggers* [Re: concerned_husky]
nuriah Offline

Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 3
My mother *hasn't* talked to me about her abuse - we only really have best guesses at it. Aside from the obvious (her having abused me), she has many of the telltales of childhood abuse, including telling very, very few stories of her childhood.

Our best guess is that she was abused by cousin(s) or others when she spent her summers on a farm in the midwest. What she *has* shared with me was one story of a cousin chasing her around the farm with a freshly beheaded chicken (when they still twitch, move, and bleed). I have no real idea why she shared that story with me when I was a little kid - it's pretty awful.

She also frequently says that she was a stupid little kid, which is another one of those telltales that something abusive was going on. And, again, I don't know why that, of all things, was relayed to me as I was growing up.

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