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#462551 - 03/13/14 10:31 PM New Here
isol8er Offline

Registered: 03/13/14
Posts: 3
Loc: California
Hello everyone...or just the one. I'm very new at this. I just moved to downtown LA and I have been desperately trying to find support. I don't have a great deal of know-how to navigate on this site, so I don't even know if what I'm writing will be viewed by anyone.
I'm just trying to find out how to get the most from this site. I have done this alone all my life and it's not working anymore. I could use a hand....not a "hand-out" but if you are further along than I'd you do it?
Thanks everyone!
"I've never been more willing to learn, until I became most desperate to change..."

#462554 - 03/13/14 11:00 PM Re: New Here [Re: isol8er]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070
Hello Isol8or,

We see you, and you're not alone. We're sorry you need us, but we're glad you found us. Try not to read too much at once here if you're new, because it can get overwhelming and triggering if you don't pace yourself.

We're all in this together.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#462555 - 03/13/14 11:05 PM Re: New Here [Re: isol8er]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3852

Welcome. You have taken a major step in facing the past and healing. It is not an easy journey but I can tell you as you near the end of the journey you can see it is your life and you control it and not the abuser.

This site is for all survivors. We move at our own pace. You must feel safe, share when you are comfortable. Read what others write, I have learned much from others--their successes have given me hope. We all react differently to the abuse and we all heal differently.

People are not judgmental because we understand the pain and hurt and how others have judged us. You can post to discussion board, attend chat sessions and only respond when comfortable or PM other members who you find a connection in your healing process.

It is here for all survivors and supporters. I have found the site invaluable--I also have been to therapy for almost three years and attend two support groups. Talking about the abuse has allowed me to accept the abuse and to move away from people who only promulgate the feelings of being abused. Your environment is important in your healing journey.

We are here for you--heal well and never be afraid to vent or seek help and guidance.


#462556 - 03/13/14 11:33 PM Re: New Here [Re: isol8er]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
welcome to

i have been using this website for over ten years,
with mostly positive results.
it has been a source of comfort and inspiration.
come and go as you please.
use the search function to focus on topics that are meaningful to you.
i enjoy and recommend the poetry section.
you will find yourself in others words.


#462569 - 03/14/14 02:20 AM Re: New Here [Re: isol8er]
DavoSwim Offline

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 397
Loc: Midwest

Welcome to MS. You've taken the first step, which is the hardest one to take. I understand your view on navigating this site. When I first joined a year ago, I didn't really know what I was doing, but I learned as I went and the more I used the site, the more I got out of it.

Under the Forum List are all sorts of Topics. Feel free to peruse through the list. When you see a topic that you want to delve into more thoroughly, just read the threads. Most of the time you can reply. If you're interested in a private conversation with a member, you can also send a private message. You can also look for the posts a specific member has made. That can help you understand more about a topic.

Take it at your pace. There's no hurry and it's not a race. You'll get lots of support here. We're all here for the same reason - we were hurt and we're looking to heal. Feel free to observe or contribute as much as you want. This is your life and your story and you are in charge. I wish you the best. You've come to the right place.

Take care, Dave

#462573 - 03/14/14 03:10 AM Re: New Here [Re: isol8er]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Welcome Isol8er!

I echo what others have said.

I isolated for years as one of my ways of coping. Its a long and painful process of change and healing, but sounds like you are headed in the right direction.

Be well,

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#462665 - 03/15/14 02:06 PM Re: New Here [Re: isol8er]
Adam A Gedman Offline

Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Canada

I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad for you, that you have found us.

I have been here for less than a year I think, and the experience, especially at first was just what I needed. The support, empathy and understanding of other men who have similar life experiences, helped me heal in ways I cannot even describe.

Take your time, find your pace, and when you feel ready speak your truth, we will be here to read and perhaps offer perspective, advice or just an ear to listen.

A good therapist is also a crucial tool in my opinion.

Welcome, explore and take care.
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

#462668 - 03/15/14 02:53 PM Re: New Here [Re: isol8er]
BuffaloCO Offline

Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 490
You are not alone! Here you will find good people and resources to start to find peace inside and healing. Welcome to the site brother.
�We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.� - Plato


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