I thought that the cause could be the birth of our first child (a boy) but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Speaking as someone who didn't directly deal with any of the uncomfortable childhood memories until two years after the birth of my children, I can't really stand on completely solid ground. However, I will say that the birth of a child changes a lot of things.
First of all is the feeling of wanting to make everything different. For oneself and for one's child. This feeling is basically a constant and tends to feed one's need to heroically change everything. It's very hard to talk it down, to balance the need to protect one's child with the need to take care of oneself.
Even when there is no childhood trauma, this balancing act is something to learn, as you may already know.
He's very affectionate and attached to him and has readily admitted the few times he was jealous of him. The reactions were the opposite of the acting out.
In an article on this website, another possibility is mentioned which might be more of what you are talking about. It is described as "acting in". I suppose the way I understand it is, when "acting out" has been curtailed, it doesn't necessarily mean that the internal pressure has gone away. Thought patterns that lead to negative emotions can also create behavior that shows some difficulty, unrest, or pain. These patterns are habits of relating to oneself that have become ingrained. In my case, they are part and parcel of memories that seem to have become suppressed or not dealt with.
Here is a link to the article:http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer2.html
I'm wondering about his discussing feelings of jealousy. These might be good to find some context for, if nothing else than to slowly begin understanding what may be going on in with his feelings about how a child is cared for.
In my case, feelings about my infancy didn't really surface until my children were past that stage. On the one hand, that may have been a good thing, as it enabled me to be a good father in their early years. On the other hand, as my relationship with their mother crumbled, it is clear now that there were long buried feelings that could not find their way to my conscious thinking without some concerted effort and openness.
For instance, when my children were born, I remember my own mother's behavior as somewhat surprising. She seemed troubled by something and unable to make the affectionate connection I expected. It was as if the decision to have children and the birth itself had opened a window on what had really happened way back when. She soon disclosed how my father had not really been as "hands on" as she would have liked. Listening to her, I felt as if I knew what she meant. I felt as if her disappointment had been set aside in favor of raising me.
What would transpire over the next few years was the unfolding of that memory, whether I liked it or not. These days I'm dealing with the constant frustration of trying to talk to Mom without anticipating other things she may have set aside and which may have affected our relationship.
As you have seen in my other post, I have gradually had to grapple with a clearer understanding of my upbringing. As I do, I can only slowly allow myself to bring into my present consciousness what I have to accept.
Lately stories in the news regarding CSA have set him off (beyond his normal triggers) where they never did in the past.
Just for the record, this has happened to me also. While it seems easy to simply draw the line from the stories to one's own life, I think it can also take some time to get to know what the pain is that is emerging.
What's interesting about this is there are some stories that affect me more than others. Perhaps it has something to do with where I am in my recovery and what particular memories I'm trying to deal with at the moment.
Could there be more he's not telling me? Things he's now remembered? ..... I know I cannot force him to return to therapy but seeing as how therapy was an overall positive experience what may cause someone to shut down and be almost belligerent at the thought of getting help other than new triggering memories/things beginning to effect him?
I know that saying anything about memories is uncertain at best and misleading at worst, so please take what I say here with even less than a grain of salt. My hunch is that it's not that there are more memories of abuse on the level of what he has explored already. It is more likely that he is asking more of himself as a man and as a father, which can cause some friction in his understanding of himself. What can seem like little failures can become extra big in the face of memories of those who were trying to take care of him, yet who also may have failed in their own way.
So if he did do some therapy, it seems possible that it would be a different kind of process. Perhaps more like something that would help him shed an old skin, drop some old self-defeating habits in favor of something more wholesome and healing.
Hope you can weather together whatever is there and difficult to see until more becomes clear as the old pains find a way out of the troubled past.