Newest Members
Meyekell, Muyoso, kaa, bsm, davkli
13206 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
BeesHive (45), ggirl (32), silent bob (52)
Who's Online
6 registered (GMan, ForeverFighting, Jay1946, 3 invisible), 55 Guests and 8 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,206 Registered Members
75 Forums
68,419 Topics
476,085 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Topic Options
#462156 - 03/06/14 11:37 PM Just got dumped...
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1055
Welp... That didn't last long.

I was supposed to go fly to see her on Sunday, and I sensed something was wrong, which led to a phone call, wherein I got dumped.

Surprisingly, I feel OK. The last time this happened (granted it was 2004), I fell down a hole of emotional pain that I thought I would never get out of.

Tonight, after a few drinks, I feel fine. Just humiliated and embarrassed that I allowed myself to change my Facebook status to "in a relationship" and tell my mother that I was dating someone.

But that's manageable. I'm not feeling the windtunnel-like effects of emotional overload that I've experienced in the past.

But just wanted to share, since this is the place to share.

I'm keeping my new avatar though. That stays.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

#462164 - 03/07/14 02:52 AM Re: Just got dumped... [Re: cant_remember]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Never cry for the person who hurts you. Just smile & say: "Thanks for giving me the chance to find someone better than you!" -Anonymous
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#462173 - 03/07/14 05:34 AM Re: Just got dumped... [Re: cant_remember]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1231
Loc: The ATL
Hello Can't. Sorry to hear about this but glad you're ok. When my ex GF broke up with me about 3 and 1/2 years ago, I was actually pretty relieved. It meant I didn't have to deal with icky relationship feelings anymore. Be well. Peace,


Edited by BraveFalcon (03/07/14 05:34 AM)

#462176 - 03/07/14 07:31 AM Re: Just got dumped... [Re: cant_remember]
peroperic2009 Offline


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3786
Loc: South-East Europe
Oh Cant, well it is nice that you are not feeling down.
I don't like impersonal breaks by messages or phone, I guess it is because last time exactly something similar has happened to me.

Keep us updated how are the things.

My story

#462178 - 03/07/14 09:07 AM Re: Just got dumped... [Re: cant_remember]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3096

Sorry to hear but you ability to cope is a sign of the strength you have gained over years of healing. You most likely had your expectations for the relationship in check.

Having someone to share with is wonderful but it has to be right. You had a good time and now you will move forward. Good luck.


#462180 - 03/07/14 11:23 AM Re: Just got dumped... [Re: cant_remember]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1055
Thanks guys.

I"m holding up fine, it turns out. The super-triggered bottomless pit of emotional despair has not materialized, as I had feared.

It still really sucks, but at least I know now that I can function as a straight male and pull in intelligent young women, even if it didn't last. That's a huge confidence boost for me.

Now I just cancelled my flight to go see her, and I'm putting all her little gifts to me in the closet so I don't have to look at them.

This sucks. I thought my life had finally sprung into gear, and now I'm back in neutral.

But, oh well. Her loss, right?

Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

#462181 - 03/07/14 12:13 PM Re: Just got dumped... [Re: cant_remember]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3959
Loc: settling in the USA again
can't - i am so glad that this glitch has not sent you into a downward spiral. good for you for realizing that you can function and that you have gained confidence. and - yes - her loss, definitely!

one part of your last post that i'd disagree with, however:

Originally Posted By: cant_remember
I thought my life had finally sprung into gear, and now I'm back in neutral.

this is a part of life - you are not in neutral or on hold or treading water. you have proven by your previous statements that you are moving forward. this is a step of growth. you are still moving ahead - unless you decide to quit - and that is not you!

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#462205 - 03/07/14 10:37 PM Re: Just got dumped... [Re: cant_remember]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
Yeah, Can't. It is her loss. It's great your confidence has been established in the area of relationships- that's tremendous. I agree with Traveler, you aren't in neutral, on hold or treading water. You became engaged in life. And when things didn't work out, you didn't crumble. Proud of you, man. (I know you were excited about visiting with her, so I am sorry for the breakup.)
For now we see through a glass, darkly.


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.