Newest Members
jake1985, cactus8, Neil Benesh, blazzeee, mmm coffee
13531 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
isol8er (46), omrfople (41), zookeeper (54)
Who's Online
1 registered (Donald177), 66 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,531 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,389 Topics
491,558 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#461822 - 03/02/14 01:16 AM Re: First Post....and I don't even know where to begin [Re: sadclown]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 317
Loc: Virginia
Hey sadclown,

Welcome! Believe me, recovery is possible. It may take a while and it happens in stages, but it can happen if you work at it. Like the others have said, take your time and deal with it as you can.

I've sort of broken up my own situation into three pieces: (1) bad things affecting me that happened before the sexual abuse, (2) the sexual abuse itself, and (3) the aftermath-- feelings, beliefs, actions and so on that were driven by items one and two.

One key is to recognize that you're in control of things now. It may not feel like it at times, but you have both the absolute right and the absolute ability to make sense of it all, deal with the negative feelings, thoughts, actions, and so on, and put it behind you in your own good time. You're the boss now.

Many of us realize that csa never really "goes away," in that you can't go back and un-live any part of your life. You CAN, however, get to a point where it's just part of your history and not something that's affecting you one way or the other any more. (I've got loads of work left to do myself, but I'm on this path and doing quite well.) What's more, you'll come out of it knowing a tremendous amount about yourself and people in general. In other words, you'll gain wisdom.

One final thing: DON'T BE AFRAID OF DEALING WITH THE UGLY STUFF. Sometimes when you feel like crap and things don't feel like they're moving forward is when you make the best realizations about things. I've been making all my best progress at times when I've felt bad. Ugly can be good.

I'm sorry you had to seek MS out, but glad you found it. We're all behind you one hundred percent. Reach out as you need to.


#462028 - 03/05/14 01:09 AM Re: First Post....and I don't even know where to begin [Re: sadclown]
kcinohio Offline

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 511
Loc: Ohio
Hey SadClown,

I think you shared a lot of the questions of frustration quite a few of us have had with MS-related history. Sorry things are frustrating now, but getting through some of the harder times is the only way I know for getting to times that are better (rather than just denying or minimizing them in comparison).

Sounds to me like you are pushing through it. The other side is worth it, in my experience.

#462088 - 03/06/14 12:20 AM Re: First Post....and I don't even know where to begin [Re: sadclown]
sadclown Offline

Registered: 02/27/14
Posts: 59
yeah, its ugly, all right. Its confusing, and completely contrary to logic. Logic is the one thing you can count on, that you can trust absolutely, yet it is powerless in this fight. For many reasons, I am very leery and untrusting of therapists and the like, but I'm devoid of alternatives. Hopefully, with another decade of experiences, and a more mature brain, I can find a decent one and start to make heads and tails of this. Its just a lot and the only things I feel about it is an inexplicable ball of things I don't have words for, and shame. Whoever I find to help me untangle this mess has their work cut out for them.....if I can find them

Page 2 of 2 < 1 2

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.