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#461415 - 02/25/14 02:01 AM Hi from ZIGGY Australia
ZIGGY Offline

Registered: 02/25/14
Posts: 4
Hello to all Forum members.
I am a survivor of childhood abuse in an Institution that was supposed to be caring for children of mothers who were hospitalised, or seriously ill and unable to care for their children at the time.
So much for "Duty of Care".
I thought that with my awareness of risk to children, my own children would never suffer abuse.
Unfortunately that was not the case, as Pedophiles are exceptionally cunning and deceptive/manipulative.
I am on my own journey of healing and also sharing with others in Breaking the Silence regarding childhood sexual abuse.
I applaud any man who has the courage to speak up and seek help and share his story in a safe environment with trustworthy people, in an attempt to help themselves and other men, heal from the trauma of sexual abuse.
Women have fought a long hard battle to achieve progress in this area and my personal experience has been that for men or boys it is a terribly difficult thing to admit or share the information that you too, have been a victim of abuse.
The most positive and wonderful thing you can do is to turn your tears and personal trauma into a triumph of survival.
Never give in, never give up!
Dont ever let the "illegitemate" mongrel who harmed you, win.
They tried to make you feel that you had no voice, that you had no worth.
Your wounded spirit CAN, and WILL rise above the past trauma, and you can be a ray of light and hope to other survivors as you travel on your journey towards emotional health.
There is a real need for men to develop into Mentors for the wounded who are not yet able to stand on their own feet emotionally.
I spent many years feeling worthless and broken inside, but little by little I began the journey finding myself and valuing myself again.
It is never too late!
Find your voice.
Childhood abuse is something that has happened to you in the past, but it does not define the person you are today, or the person you can become tomorrow.
Anger and a feeling of lack of Justice, can be harnessed as motivational forces to spur you on to grow and learn and change your life from Victim, to Survivor, to Mentor, helping others, and campaigning for awareness and change in society.

#461440 - 02/25/14 04:07 AM Re: Hi from ZIGGY Australia [Re: ZIGGY]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3855

You are so right. Abuse unfortunately defines us until we find a way to accept the abuse and to accept ourselves. It sounds so simple, but it is not. The mind learned to escape the abuse and to deny the abuse and the worse to deny a part of who we are. We are confused and lost.

But one day, somewhere, we meet people who understand what we have lived, people who give us support and encouragement to heal, we finally learn to escape people and places that hurt us and bring back the past abuse. But this does not happen by itself, some are strong enough to push ahead on their own, others find supportive people and there are those that never find the right person to help them face the past and move forward. We all react to the abuse differently and at the same time we heal differently.

It is so important for people to support victims, but the world is not perfect nor are people (despite some thinking they are the closest to perfection)and there are those who will be there unconditionally, and to be unconditional takes courage, internal strength and individual fortitude and not guided by those around them, so many victims never have that emotional support to heal while others do and for those with strong internal strength they survive on their own.

I am 57 and finally have found my voice--I have confronted the parish, the diocese and learned to separate myself from those that tried to harm me by not allowing me to heal with their support. None of these actions were easy, painless or without loss, but then as a victim we are lost until we find ourselves. But the best gift was finding those that had heart and could support and give hope. Life is definitely not fair but I hope every victim finds people who support, love and allows them to find their voice. But being a realist and having lived with obstacles, there are too many who do not understand CSA, allow family prejudices and ignorance and their own fears of learning about CSA to continually revictimize the victim.

I agree with everything you said, but can only now understand because I have moved beyond the abuse and peoples' harmful words of what I lived and how I supposedly lived. It was no easy feat and as you said, it is never too late!!!.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I know if I had read earlier in my healing process it would have provided hope and encouragement.


#461443 - 02/25/14 05:02 AM Re: Hi from ZIGGY Australia [Re: ZIGGY]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
i love what you have to say.
i agree and applaud your attitude.
i welcome your voice, Ziggy.
it warms my spirit.


#461475 - 02/25/14 04:44 PM Re: Hi from ZIGGY Australia [Re: ZIGGY]
Adam A Gedman Offline

Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Canada
Hey Ziggy,

I am sorry for your reason to be, but glad you found us none the less.

Such a positive outlook, will be very welcome and needed.
I hope that the rest of us have something we can offer you as well.

Keep Well.
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014


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