Newest Members
Bilbo408, JHJ, NowICanSee, rdc445, batman72
13229 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
12to17 (60), Aaron7712 (50), Defiance Is Best (48), Interpreter (32), Kenn (57), RichardPaulPoill (70), soul (36), Tyler845 (29)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 43 Guests and 8 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,229 Registered Members
75 Forums
68,561 Topics
477,087 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#461266 - 02/22/14 10:59 AM Recovery Milestone Post
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1058
My brothers,

It has been some time since I posted. I just wanted to stop in and say hello and to let everyone know how I'm doing.

Since Christmas, my life has taken a dramatic turn for the good. I met a younger woman, disclosed everything to her, and we have only grown closer as a result.

Before Christmas, I felt defeated in life and thought that I could never have a relationship, marriage and family. And now, miraculously, all these things seem possible.

It's a long-distance relationship, so it's not ideal, but it's going to work.

She is 24 and I'm 37, which is somewhat of a concern I suppose, but I think my recovery has set me back 10 years of emotional growth, so in that sense, these ages seem just fine. She gets her MBA this year, so she's no child.

She also has some trauma in her past, but as a teen and a young woman. Never the less, she understands my PTSD and dissociative issues and is really good at spotting them and reading me emotionally when we're together.

She knows about my SSA to older men, and this doesn't seem to phase her. When I dissociate during sex, she recognizes it and brings me back.

I just went on a road trip with her through Arizona from Phoenix to Monument Valley in Navajo country, which happened to take us through Prescott, AZ, home of our fallen brother, Life's A Dream, a story that I told her as we drove through. I cried telling her what happened to LAD, but again it brought us closer together.

I have changed my avatar from the tree missing its center to one of the giant rocks of Monument Valley. This thing is 1,000 feet tall and a mile across at its base. I've made this change to reflect how I feel I have changed in the past few months.

I'm still with my EMDR T, and there's still much left to deal with, including the SSA and my dissociation during sex with my girlfriend, but these seem like issues that I can overcome now with her help.

But I could have never gotten myself to this point in my recovery process without my many good friends and brothers here at MS. You know who you are. I love you all deeply.

Thank you for all your support, and I apologize for not being here more. I will try to be more present and supportive going forward.

But he grew old, this knight so bold / And upon his heart a shadow / Fell as he found / No spot on the ground / That looked like El Dorado.

#461267 - 02/22/14 11:15 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

That's a wonderful report. Thank you.


#461269 - 02/22/14 11:19 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1231
Loc: The ATL

Hi Can't. It was good to read this and so good to hear from you. Congrats on the new found relationship. I wish you many, many years of happiness with her. This is the type of story that can give inspiration and hope to those of us who are struggling to find any. Thank you.

By the way, I have been to that part of Arizona before and I loved it there. One of the most beautiful regions of the United States as far as I'm concerned. Anyone who hasn't been out there definitely needs to put it on their "things I need to do before I die" list. So glad you are well. Peace,


#461271 - 02/22/14 11:23 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
OCN Offline

Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 382
Loc: Western Europe
He Can't

Great news!! Glad to read such a positive change has happened in your life! Really wish you the best and this sure sounds great!

Thanks for sharing!

Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

I now know who I am - I've never been anybody else!

#461272 - 02/22/14 11:26 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3133

Great to hear from you. Glad to hear life is looking good. Finding someone to be with who makes you feel good goes a long way. Your dissociative episodes will subside, I would dissociate and have fugues and leave mentally and physically, but since I have left a difficult environment and have found someone who cares and tries to understand the abuse and PTSD has pushed me forward like you. My lost times are leaving. I continue with therapy and support groups. It is important to open up to people, because there will be one, two or more who will be there for you. There are many good people out there who give of themselves and have no expectations. You have found one.

I am happy to hear of your progress and most importantly you are happy.


#461291 - 02/22/14 04:07 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3966
Loc: settling in the USA again
CR - i remember way back when - i commented on how apt your avatar photo of the tree was. now i have the pleasure of commenting on how apt your new avatar photo of the monumental rock is.

i am so happy to hear of all the new and healthy and positive developments in your life. and glad you came back to share with us.

keep on keepin on!
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#461311 - 02/23/14 12:07 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6300
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada

congratulations on the good news.

thanks for keeping us posted and sharing hope and happiness.


#461341 - 02/23/14 12:28 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1058
Thanks, guys.

I couldn't have done this without you.

But he grew old, this knight so bold / And upon his heart a shadow / Fell as he found / No spot on the ground / That looked like El Dorado.

#461357 - 02/23/14 09:46 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1146

Edited by Suwanee (02/21/16 01:59 PM)
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before


#461358 - 02/23/14 09:51 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 308
Loc: Virginia
Hey Can't,

Good for you! This is really great! Thanks for keeping us posted.


Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.