I've been obsessed with feeling clean. I can't. My roommate and friends, they try to understand. They nod with understanding when I say I don't want a hug or to be touched, not...not in that way, but like a hand on my shoulder makes me jump 6 feet in the air.
I see her, I see the girl/women/whatever who assaulted me a year ago around town. At the connivence stores we go to, the grocery store, the bar...when I'm walking home.
I feel like I can't breathe.
I can't go tell anyone, they'd laugh at me.
I'm a 6ft tall guy, terrified of a women who barely stands 5'5.
This is so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.