This weekend was different than many I have ever lived. I have never been a sports fan. But this weekend I found myself involved in the NFL Playoffs like I never have. Maybe it was the people I was with, maybe it was me or a sense of freedom just to enjoy and not looking over my shoulder. Whatever it is, it is great to be free to live.
Will I be a major sports nut, I do no think so but to enjoy was wonderful.
I never realized how much time I spent hiding the abuse, thinking everyone knew I was "damaged", letting the guilt and shame of the abuse control me. The abuser has powers because I let him have powers over me as I did with those around me--who pushed me to unravel.
Is this just a temporary state of mind, but whatever, it is great to experience.