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#45828 - 04/05/04 12:34 AM Needing kind words
yesac76 Offline

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
I am doing a paper on Sexual abuse. It is very important for me to do this, but it is difficult and a bit painful. I do not rationally know why I am putting myself through this, but I seem compelled to write about this subject. I am finding it hard to do the research I have to, as it is taking me back to the place I was, in an emotional sense, when I was first abused. Has abyine else done anything like ths before, and how did you get through it in one piece?

"You live it or lie it" Metallica

#45829 - 04/05/04 12:57 AM Re: Needing kind words
Arthur Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/29/04
Posts: 25
Loc: Florida
I'm doing a report on sexual abuse and recovery for one of my classes, too. Research online (Google) led me to find this site.
My experience of my recovery is that recovery rarely seems rational when I'm going through it. Sometimes the rationality only appears after I've done my recovery work.
One of the things I lost was my ability to trust myself, especially non-rational gut feelings. Living up in my head with my rational intelligence was how I survived life for years.
Now, I try to listen to my gut and think about why I want to follow my gut or not folow it and why. Then I talk to trusted friends (online and offline) to get their feedback (but NOT their advice). I try to see things like this as another opportunity to get to know myself better. Sometimes I feel frustrated, learning things at age 52 that others learned when they were teens or 20's, but I remind myself that I could have gone through life without ever learning anything (in my recovery) at all.
I wish you well in your work on yourself.



#45830 - 04/05/04 01:08 AM Re: Needing kind words
MikeNY Offline

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
All I can say is if it seems like it's too much, you can try to do a degree of mental separation and stick to scientific facts and legal terminology about the subject. Keep it simple, informative, and direct rather than getting all of your personal stuff involved.

"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

#45831 - 04/05/04 03:37 PM Re: Needing kind words
phoster Offline

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
i am a fair writer, and have had a couple of things published. i want to write more books, but i am overwhelmed by this need to write about my abuse and recovery. it is both painful and important at the same time. i guess i know exactly where you are at. do what you have to, and try reminding yourself the worse is over. the memories are painful yes, but you survived. all that is left is picking up the pieces.

compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

#45832 - 04/05/04 11:42 PM Re: Needing kind words
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Have a look through some of the older postings on this site - you can probaly find much information that you can use in your paper without naming anyone here directly.

If you are researching feelings / opinions etc, write yourself a list of the Posting Headings that you have read - this will save you time when returning to the site (although postings are added to regularly, you can find the threads that interest you most).

If you want to do this from a personal perspective, several (cannot quantify if that is in tens, hundreds or whatever)of us here have written letters to the younger version of ourselves that was abused - the younger version responds and it's like a correspondance with 2 versions of yourself...I find that a valuable method of hitting the nail on the head.

By the way does hurt, but the pain lessens.

Hope this helps / makes sense...Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#45833 - 04/06/04 02:34 AM Re: Needing kind words
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
I publish quite a few things about SA. What helps me is to know that by doing this I am educating people who do not understand.

When I am feeling raw emotionally I take a break and I talk to people here. As someone mentioned, you need to be the judge as the whether continuing is good for you or not. You can pick it up later if you need to quit now.

Thanks for doing a paper on it. There is a ton of stuff here, both in the papers and the wisdom of the men that can help a lot.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.


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