Back for a moment from my holiday visits, I had a chance to read your painful post-poem.
What is most powerful to me is your courage in letting it out of your journal. Not so much as in the sharing, albeit a brave act itself, but in your own ability to reflect on that period in your life. For me, there are many terror-stricken situations to reflect on. When I am able to "go there" from a place of greater safety, it feels like a sign of progress.
The realization of the "gap" is perhaps the most striking example of this. Everyday I fear that I might come to know more of them, and it keeps me isolated and afraid.
Hope you will find some time to keep celebrating yourself.
Lose the drama; life is a poem.