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#457437 - 12/26/13 03:27 PM Parenting
ig3 Offline

Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 83
LGBT parenting is a whole Wikipedia entry ( To add to the mix being a survivor of CSA, complicates matters even more.

When I accepted myself as gay, in a way I resigned myself to being childless. I am from Ecuador and I live in Ecuador.

But now I plan to pursue graduate studies in Canada, and all of a sudden a window of opportunity of seeing things differently seems to open.

Are there other LGBT survivors who are parents? Could you share your experience?

#457439 - 12/26/13 04:04 PM Re: Parenting [Re: ig3]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 737
Loc: United States
Hey ig3,

This is a great topic and I hope any gay, bi, or trans, dads will chime in. I'm a married gay man but marriage equality came too late for children to be possible or practical for us.

I really wanted to be a parent, but if I'm truthful I think being a parent would have been as much a challenge as it is for any other man. Being a survivor means I look at children approaching the age when I was abused and feel a lot of very protective emotions. I doubt the experience is much different for straight dads and I know there are many who would talk about how their children presented feelings and challenges to them. It might be worth talking to all the fathers here to get the broader survivor's perspective.

Canada has marriage equality and adoption available to gay couples so you are right, going to graduate school there opens up new options for what's possible in your life. There are some community resources you might want to read to get a feel for the reality for adopting in Canada. Canada Adopts has a thread on adoption for gay couples on their web site that is worth looking at.


Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips


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