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#457401 - 12/25/13 09:39 PM Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin".
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
Holy Fuck. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". I was gonna leave it in the previous thread, but it made such an impact that I decided to express myself in a new thread.

Not such a good feeling right now. From the seduction, to being not the only kid with someone older- and I've never admitted that til right now- to the betrayal and deception of LOVE to the horrible scene when he is picked up by the last stranger and taken to the apartment. Its just a bad series of flashbacks. (And I can handle it- but fuck its ugly).

It's okay that I saw it. It's okay that I admit once again that I was sexually assaulted throughout most of my life. Its okay that the flashbacks came when the gag reflex started after he was drugged. It jolted that memory back to me on my BIG DAY. Half conscious, half in that altered-state. I needed to remember. Its okay and I can handle it…tears and anger and remorse and even guilt. Its okay.

Its not okay that any of it happened.

The movie ended with the wish that they could disappear from the world and become angels and fly into the night….. I wish for that so many times. I so want my spirit to be free and to fly among the stars as the angels do. Just holy fuck.

I want every boy and every man who has been sexually assaulted and raped to know that I am sorry it happened to you. Sorry for the grief and the strife it has caused and the pain and the altered perception of life it has given. I am just so very fuckin' sorry. I just have this need to share that right now. And yeah, my vocab is far above the f-bomb, but it is just a definite easy explanation of how I feel right now. If it offends, well….. fill in the blank. Lol. fuck. I don't know what to do right now or where to turn.

Edited by ThisMan (12/25/13 09:41 PM)
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#457408 - 12/25/13 10:50 PM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4165
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
that film affected me deeply too. and i had a friend who also saw it for the first time about the same time as i did. i identified with Brian - the boy who repressed the abuse and became asexual. he identified with Neil, who re-enacted the abuse by acting out repeatedly and compulsively with older men. it was a very triggering experience for both of us. we discussed it some - but he was unable to deal with it and had to stop.

i am glad that you are not having such a severe reaction that it incapacitates you. but sorry that it is affecting you as it is. i guess that must be a sign of progress - to be handling it at least partially well? i dont know what else to say - but if you want to discuss it more, i'm game - either here or by PM.

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#457429 - 12/26/13 10:53 AM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
SayItRight Offline

Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 127
I felt very grateful when I first saw the film for the ways it paralleled many aspects of my own experience. I did find it somewhat triggering, but as much in the non-violent parts as in any others: wasn't used to having any of those parts of my life described and discussed so clearly. My appreciation of the connection it afforded me at that time in my life outweighed (for me) the difficulties I had with the triggers.

I have watched it several time since it was first shown in the theaters and, in particular, appreciate its connection to this time of year. I realize my take on the film and how it makes me feel are only "my own." I don't wish to be insensitive to anyone else's reactions to it. Since it is not a film that was widely watched or which is widely discussed, I appreciate the discussion of it here.

I have discussed in therapy that although I can have a hard time feeling bad for myself over what has happened to me, movies such as this one (some others too) and certain tv shows can sometimes help me to understand why I could/should/would otherwise feel bad about parts of my own experience. This is one of the ways the movie has been helpful for me. On the other hand, given the triggers it contains, its not a film I would recommend without clear trigger warnings, nor is it one I would assume is similarly helpful for others.

Thanks for your post ThisMan and your comments Lee.
I always tried one thing:
To make what happened to me not matter at all.
Turns out, it was supposed to matter.
Who knew?

#457491 - 12/27/13 05:42 PM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: SayItRight]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2675
I read the book before it became a movie, and the movie did not disappoint from that standpoint. My partner's sister saw the book on my desk and just assumed - since I was in school - that it was about skin disorders such as psoriasis. confused

I guess not much in Mysterious Skin resonates with me since the dynamics of my own past were so fundamentally different. As disturbing as it is, I can view it with enough emotional detachment that I am not triggered. But I can certainly understand how it can affect others deeply.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is an impressive actor. In that same year he played a very different role in Latter Days. In Latter Days he played a character that would have been a harsh judge of the person he portrayed in Mysterious Skin. And both were played convincingly.

#457493 - 12/27/13 05:52 PM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 732
Loc: United States
Joseph Gordon Levitt is also appearing in a film called "Don Jon" as a porn obsessed straight man dealing with relationships and dating. It's interesting looking at these performances back to back for their different tone and JGL's changed physical presence.


Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

#457547 - 12/28/13 05:59 PM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
txb Offline

Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 408
When people here tell me not to watch stuff I really should listen. The whole thing was completely triggering, with lots of similarities. I'm not really sure why I kept watching. But the end really sucked for me, because it just left me thinking, now what? I needed to know what happened next. If there was a happily ever after or not.

#457549 - 12/28/13 06:29 PM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6376
Loc: š¯’Ŗ š¯’¦anada


#457685 - 12/31/13 11:34 AM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4165
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
here is a link to an older thread discussing both MysteriousSkin - as well as a few other films:

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#457715 - 12/31/13 07:10 PM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1229

Edited by Suwanee (02/21/16 12:02 PM)
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before


#458123 - 01/06/14 08:14 PM Re: Holy ****. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". [Re: ThisMan]
unhappycamper Offline

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 753
Loc: VA
I watched the hell out of the DVD and I also read the book. The movie also hit me close to home, because I also was single-digit age and suffered a one-off rape, like the UFO-obsessed kid. And I may have mentioned in an earlier thread that I thought some of the rent-boy sex scenes were played up a bit much--at least for my taste.

The book offers more, because it has several narrators, not just the two boys.

Be "grounded" before taking on movie OR book--and have an out, like the "pause" button or theater door.


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