forgive777. It is really tough stuff. And yes it all seems to happen at the worst possible time and ussally on top of a bunch of other crap that is going one. I am so sorry. What i would like to say and may not be the right thing so forgive me if i screw up and say the wrong thing or the right thing in the wrong way.
I can so relate. When my moment came to step out and start dealing with stuff it was really overwhelhing and of course at the worst possible time. But when i thought about why the onslote of emotions, awarrness, insight and all that came with it. I realized I was in a very good place. I had come to a point in my life where i had stepped out of denial and all the truths and wounds of my past where now clearly in my heart and mind. I came to realize it was denial of the wounds and damage done to me was exactly what was keeping me tied to my emotional truama and wounds. As long as my denial lived - i could not.
I believe you have entered the awarness stage of recovery. the first step in the recovery process. I found it to be the most liberating, frightening, painful, and out right overwhelming. But i also realized it was exactly where i needed to be. I was healing and healing is painful at first but it really got steadly better for me and i have recovered. What kept me going was my personal commitment to allow myself to recover and my determination to heal no matter what recovery brought my way. and i would accept the many truths it would bring. So while it may suck maybe it is not a bad place to be if you are truely committed to a better life and believe me it is very possible. I know I did it and so will you.
justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com - i think you will relate and i hope you find my story helpful. It speaks very clearly to what you are going thru and how i dealt with it.
As to blaming your parents. i think it is normal. When i was at the awarness stage of recovery i to became angier and angier and also finding myself blaming my parents and everyone else. for me it was part of the process.
Edited by jas4159 (02/09/14 04:53 PM)