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#455746 - 12/01/13 09:10 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
KMCINVA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3102
Sven

Take care of yourself. You need to make sure you have support. Families can be trying--trying to hide from the reality of the abuse, their complicity or their actions that pushed you into states that were not you. Whatever, do not let them control you by their actions which can be ostracizing you from the family, verbal or physical attacks--you deserve to heal and face your accuser without fear of familial reprisal. It is time these family members spend some time with a therapist and begin to learn they have significant issues to deal with if they must attack a survivor of CSA.

Take care and please seek us out for support. We are here.

Kevin

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#455747 - 12/01/13 09:19 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 485
.
_________________________
The first step to living the life you want, is to leave behind what you don't want.

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#455749 - 12/01/13 09:45 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
freeze-on Offline


Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 79
Loc: southeast
Thinking of you bro. And Peace when I do.

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#455755 - 12/01/13 11:03 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6299
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
dear sven,
i can't begin to tell you how worried i am,
i realize i don't know you,
and i don't know any details, but it sounds like momentous stuff is happening in your life, right now as we speak.
this is opportunity within crisis, as the saying goes.

i can safely say this from the luxury of my objective position.

but you are the one who will live through this.

since you have decided to stick up for your self,
then stand strong and tall, brother.
do what's right and fight the good fight.
it sounds like you have people in your corner.
hopefully this community can provide you with some emotional support.

your recovery is your first priority.
everything else is distraction.
maintain your focus on your future.

please keep us posted if that helps you any.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455772 - 12/02/13 07:28 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 485
.
_________________________
The first step to living the life you want, is to leave behind what you don't want.

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#455774 - 12/02/13 07:41 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
peroperic2009 Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3787
Loc: South-East Europe
I wonder is any type of help or support offered to you?
Counseling or talk with expert for abuse?

There is nothing wrong with police and people from hospital, they are there for help but you might be needed other type of support that they can't offer.

Big changes in our lives are very stressful and I can imagine how you are feeling at the moment.
Maybe you could talk with someone, call the phone for abuse (it can be antonymous) and try to talk with someone who is experienced in dealing with similar situations? Just to get some direction, guidance and support. We all need it sometimes...

Pero


Edited by peroperic2009 (12/02/13 07:42 AM)
_________________________
My story

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#455775 - 12/02/13 07:53 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 485
.
_________________________
The first step to living the life you want, is to leave behind what you don't want.

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#455781 - 12/02/13 08:13 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
peroperic2009 Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3787
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Sven,
I know that you didn't want to talk about some intimate and hurtful moments like in therapy. Maybe some people could give you answers that could make you more secure under given circumstances.

Like: how to protect self now when all came out and you could be under reach of abusive people. What are your options in legal terms if your father would be charged, where could you ask for legal advices and what to do in your best interest. Where could you ask if and when you'll be in mood to find more?
What to do if some of abusive persons would come too close?
Is there place (and where) like safe house offering shelter for victims of sexual abuse?

There are zillion similar questions that I would like to know if I'd be in similar situation.

I didn't mean that you would need to talk with some stranger about some hurtful moments and memories but rather to start from somewhere to get support. It is time consuming and better to start as earlier as possible, you'll be need it anyway.

I'm talking from personal experience that I went trough with one buddy, because of different reasons he didn't took those steps when it was needed and that later brought more problems. I wish I have had knowledge that I have now and to force him to go out and seek advices. He tried but he wasn't persistent enough and also people needed to give him support weren't of much help. Now when look back he needed to go further and ask for more help and in other places too till he wouldn't get it.

There is always solution for different problems and there are institutions/organizations to deal with it when problems are much greater than we can comprehend.
And fortunately you are living in environment that can offer you needed help, it is needed only to be persistent and to ask for.
Please look for yourself.


Pero


Edited by peroperic2009 (12/02/13 08:23 AM)
_________________________
My story

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#455782 - 12/02/13 08:28 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6299
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
take some time to get your head straight, for sure, sven.
but please do not disregard what peroperic is saying.
it is in your best interest to heed his advice.

please read it carefully again.
it is detailed directions you can follow.

no pressure, but you must act as soon as possible to protect yourself.
you can expect most people will act in their own interest,
so you must act in your own interest.

the more plan you have, with options and backups,
the more prepared you will be for the obstacles ahead.
the less reacting and innovating you have to do.

remember, you need to survive, in order to recover.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455826 - 12/03/13 09:58 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
Take it easy.


Be gentle with yourself.


Rest.
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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