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#454482 - 11/19/13 07:30 PM Grandfather uncle and father
Frustrated Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 201
Sense I started recalling all this shit a little while ago I have recalled three males in my life that sexually assaulted me. I have no idea if they even know about each other doing it. It started when I was 4 and stopped A guess as far as I guess around six. Dealing with this is a struggle. One of them is dead and the other two live across country from me and I have not seen them in 25 years. How does one deal with this
I will never be safe I will never be sain I will always be weird inside I will always be lame

#454486 - 11/19/13 07:49 PM Re: Grandfather uncle and father [Re: Frustrated]
flightmedic38 Offline

Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 79
Loc: Kansas
Each one of us here deal in different ways, some write letters telling the how you feel and what there actions have caused then they burn the letter for closure. Some go as far as confronting but I would recommend professional guidance on that. My abuser took his own life last year. There is lots of support here so no matter what you decide you aren't alone.
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

#454513 - 11/19/13 10:02 PM Re: Grandfather uncle and father [Re: Frustrated]
don64 Offline

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 1104
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Frustrated,

Whatever you do, do it very, very slowly. Your stuff will just naturally come up as you are ready for it. Airing and discussing here is a great place to sort things out. I'm 64, and didn't begin to remember my father's sexual abuse until age 53, and didn't begin to remember my mother's sexual abuse until this year. Be very, very gentle with yourself. I think LOTS of discussion here is a great way to get your directional signals in order. Wishing you smooth sailing.

Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

#454526 - 11/20/13 12:07 AM Re: Grandfather uncle and father [Re: Frustrated]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3953
Loc: settling in the USA again
Frustrated -

it is devastating to get those certain memories.

and it is even worse when it is family members who were the abusers. they are the ones who should be most trustworthy, who should be protecting you, who should have your best interests at heart.

you deserve to feel bad about it, grieve the knowledge of the tragedy and the trauma, and to let the poison out. write, chat, vent, whatever you can to process and communicate your hurt and anger. if you can get support from a T - by all means,go for it.

just dont give up.
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

#454527 - 11/20/13 12:25 AM Re: Grandfather uncle and father [Re: Frustrated]
Frustrated Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 201
Still processing it all. Idk how to feel any more just num. wish I could just forget it all. Anger is about all I can feel
I will never be safe I will never be sain I will always be weird inside I will always be lame


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