it is devastating to get those certain memories.
and it is even worse when it is family members who were the abusers. they are the ones who should be most trustworthy, who should be protecting you, who should have your best interests at heart.
you deserve to feel bad about it, grieve the knowledge of the tragedy and the trauma, and to let the poison out. write, chat, vent, whatever you can to process and communicate your hurt and anger. if you can get support from a T - by all means,go for it.
just dont give up.
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"