it is devastating to get those certain memories.
and it is even worse when it is family members who were the abusers. they are the ones who should be most trustworthy, who should be protecting you, who should have your best interests at heart.
you deserve to feel bad about it, grieve the knowledge of the tragedy and the trauma, and to let the poison out. write, chat, vent, whatever you can to process and communicate your hurt and anger. if you can get support from a T - by all means,go for it.
just dont give up.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....