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#452898 - 11/08/13 04:31 PM What is your plan for recovery?
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 483
Loc: New Hampshire
When i started recovery i believed it was important to have a plan to map a path to recovery. Has anyone else use this approach and if yes what was your plan.

thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.org my story in blog.
copy and paste.
_________________________
Thanks

Rich

https://justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#453046 - 11/09/13 04:08 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1631
Loc: Minnesota
My biggest approach was to read as much as I could and find people who had experience with healing from sexual abuse and connect with them.

I tried to be gentle wig myself and take care of myself in healthy and affirming ways- even if that meant lots of naps and working out several times a week- these physical habits helped manage the mental and psychological stuff I was going through.

"Live another day, climb a little higher" was a brother's phrase here that made sense to me- and I had to reaffirm my intentions to avoid compulsive or destructive behavior that only provides me temporary escape and lasting hopelessness.

I didn't have a real plan except to keep moving onward and upward and tay out of shame and isolation.


Edited by Mountainous Buck (11/09/13 04:08 PM)
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#453047 - 11/09/13 04:44 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
Rich918 Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 45
Recovery? What exactly am I recovering? My life was day to day survival starting from scratch at four years old. All that I can do is learn.

I didnt have anything to lose to begin with, so I'm not a salvage job... more of a transformation job. Transforming into what, I dont know; just something resembling 'normalcy' or something to fit into daily social dealings.

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#453049 - 11/09/13 05:19 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4181
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
A drowning man does not make a plan - but merely tries desperately to grab anything that will help him to survive. I grabbed books, the MS forums, and a good T - more by luck than conscious choice. I have been happy with that combination of resources and have stuck with it.

LEE
_________________________
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

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#453051 - 11/09/13 05:45 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2716
...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 04:17 PM)
_________________________
..



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#453054 - 11/09/13 06:41 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4181
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
I look at the concept of "recovery" as a process - without an end goal - like I have heard AA does. I am a recovering CSA survivor. I don't necessarily believe that I will ever be "over it." That is ok for me at this point in my journey.

LEE
_________________________
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

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#453058 - 11/09/13 07:09 PM ! [Re: jas4159]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (03/01/14 03:27 AM)

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#453059 - 11/09/13 07:16 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
Harvey Dent Offline


Registered: 11/02/13
Posts: 28
"Becoming is a denial of being." --Bruce Lee

"I am defined by the choices I make.". --me

Recovery is the process of rediscovering the truth of who you are, who you were, and who you strive to be. Today I am angry. Discovering the truth of that anger is of utmost importance. Not because I am angry, but because I am. Yesterday I was afraid. I fought through that fear and have slain that demon. Not because I was afraid, but simply because I am. I was happy, and celebrated. I was sad and mourned. I fell in love and walked on air. I was heartbroken and lost my mind.

For me, recovery is about being true to who you are and discovering who you should have been. There is no plan. There is no goal. There is no attainment.

In Zen, there are riddles designed to teach Truth (with a capital "T'). These are known as koans. One of my favorites involves Lohan, who asked his master if a dog has the Buddha-nature or not. (The Buddha-nature is defined as the essense of Nirvana found within us all.). The master replied "Mu!", which translates to no, but it really translates to "Nothingness!" Or "Void!".

I meditated on this koan for almost 4 years and my answer makes as little sense as the koan itself:

"The wind blows through the leaves as the bell echoes through the hills".

You are the leaves. Let the wind blow. Nothing changes that you are the leaf. You are the hills. Let the echo resound. Nothing changes that you are the hill. Does a dog gave the essence of Eternal Truth within it? Why does that matter? You are not a dog. You are a man. Whatever you are, be that.


That to me is recovery.
_________________________
I am not defined by what is done to me. I am defined by the choices I make.

My story: http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=452346#Post452346

Odds are that I am typing on my phone. Please excuse punctuation and spelling. Editing is a serious pain in the neck.

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#453065 - 11/09/13 08:56 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 1106
Reading all of this is GREAT FOR ME guys. Thanks. I have been so unfocused, so diffuse all my life. Reading your thoughts and experiences is like a tuning fork resonating octaves of recognition in me. It is incredible for me.

I don't have anything to recover. The damage to me was done so early--began in infancy, was severe sexually until 3 1/2 and some later. Was severe in emotional isolation always. My SELF was shattered into millions of pieces also and I retrieve a tiny piece at a time as I am able. AT 64, I feel that everything is always here, including all of ME. That love is a natural force that is always present and I do choose love. That love does heal. The medicine cards talk of natural law, which is above human law. It seems to mean that the power of creation works and is always in force. That seems to be true in my life. Trusting natural law has meant for me that I am always where I need to be for where I am in my life and in my developing SELF. The problems I have and have had seem to be/have been because I do not/did not understand where I was in the process. So for me, the discovery process is learning to trust in natural law and learning to stay aware and curious. It has been a very long process for me to learn even the smallest amount of trust, and it can evaporate so quickly when I am frightened. But, my fledgling trust does come back.

I am still fairly isolated, my mental functioning is still fairly fucked up, my physical state is not strong, but overall, I am healthier and more vibrant than I have ever been. So, I am more optimistic than I have ever been. I am beginning to trust my ability to grow, to learn. So if I were to talk of recovery, I would talk of recovering hope. Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#453074 - 11/09/13 11:31 PM Re: What is your plan for recovery? [Re: jas4159]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 483
Loc: New Hampshire
Wow, I wasn't expecting much interest in my question. And of course recovery and its concept is different for everyone. I personally believe in it and have lived it so for me recovery is a very real thing. My life today is so much different than it was before I entered the process of recovery. The end does justify the means. Giving up was never an option for me once i stepped out of denial. Please keep the comments coming.

thank you all.

rich
_________________________
Thanks

Rich

https://justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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